Black Diamond.

We all are faced with challenges. Monthly, Weekly, Daily, Hourly..it all matters where we are in our life. We ask ourselves why this is happening to us, when are we going to catch a break but in reality..it is not really about the challenge but more so how do we approach the challenge that makes the difference.

By nature when I see a challenge that is frustrating or uncomfortable I would much rather skate around it and avoid it.It is just my personality. I flee. Others might enjoy the challenge, some might even love challenges so much they create them out of thin air just to feel the anger or adrenaline that comes from them.

All ways can be approached better. Which ever category you fit into, take a step back and really make the decision that you are going to take each challenge and approach it from a more balanced and elevated stance. Using logic, emotion, compassion and strength to move you through and in turn truly giving you a new perspective and life experience.

This year, in fresh beginnings and starts..I am dedicated to approaching challenges and high level frustrations and really meeting them with a new stance. The key is truly meeting them.

Black Diamond.

Step Into This World.

Influencing. It is human nature that we believe in changing the world around us through influencing. I have always believed that we all can change the world around us with one good decision at a time. So, when you look at the world that surrounds you, what would you want to change? Is it a cause, an emotion, a belief that you wish more people supported? Make a difference. Be who you are, be vocal about who you are and share. Respect that not everyone will share your view and commit to understanding their point of view.

My favorite quote to live by is "Be the change you want to see in the world."..it's not just about being the change, it's about being the example. Share your thoughts, your ideas, your successes and even your fails when you could have been a better example. It's possible to change the world with one person but it is easier with more. You are the key.

Step Into This World.

Wrong.

I woke up a few days ago and turned to look at my puppies happily snuggled into me. It was just around 9am and my ex that I have been separated from this past year, in whom I share a home with still though we live in separate quarters was due home that morning after being out of town for the week.

Many of you know our story and if this is new to you, allow me to cliff notes you. My Husband and I separated last year. No one did wrong, no one was hurtful or rude. It was simply me. I needed to be on my own, to grow as an individual and really find myself and have the leg room to do so. Over the past year, I did exactly that and with integrity. We remained friends and planned to finalize our Divorce end of January when the lease on our condo was over so that it would be an easy and clean break.

So as I noticed he was not home for the first time really in over a year I was kinda disappointed. I let that go as I moved forward with my morning like it was any other morning. I had plans, and actually a date to get ready for that evening. Once he arrived home, I was happy to see him. We joked and caught up as we always did. I told him about my date that evening and we just talked like old friends. Then, I brought up that I wanted to file the last of our Divorce paperwork on my next day off in the next few days really thinking of the prospect of my date. I was happy and fine with it all and we both started to move on with our days.

At once, our of nowhere it hit me and literally took my breath away. This loud voice within me saying "You're wrong. You're making the wrong choice and you know it.Fix this."...over and over and over. I could not even comprehend it in the moment. As a few minutes passed, I began to see clearly and process what was happening.

I needed this year. I needed to come into my own. I wouldn't take back this year for anything only because it made me grow up and become a better person. At that moment though, it was the moment that I realized that I had come full circle from where I began and that I had been searching the last few months to date and settle down with someone where I had that right here in him. He was what I wanted, he was my life, my family, this was our family..our home. I needed to fix this and I needed to fix this before it was too late.

I contacted him right then, we spoke about everything openly and with compassion and support for one another like we always have.

So here we are..back together. Working on us..when in reality..it is not much work at all because we love each other.We are Ethan and Christina..Christina and Ethan. I'm home..I guess I just needed to leave home for a bit so I could really understand where home is.

So I thank everyone in my life from my family, coworkers, the friends around me..even the people I dated who all were there for me in this process. You helped me find me, you all helped me find home. You helped me find happiness.

Wrong.

Habitual.

We all have our daily things and routines that make us who we are. They set the stage for us to feel comfortable and prepared for life. So what happens when your routine gets disrupted? How adaptable are you at practicing flexibility? I will tell you..I am about as routine driven as you can get without having MTV follow you around and film a True Life documentary about someone being so OCD they have to count to 347 before eating a sandwich. Okay perhaps that's overdramtic..but I like routine. So this is a lesson I am really trying to master as my routine gets interrupted.

So, we all have this ideal when we wake up in the morning about what our day for better or worse is going to look like. For some, it is filled with visions of singing birds making their bed and cooking them breakfast while others pre-plan the worst case scenario complete with a doomsday soundtrack and permanent chip on their shoulder in order to prepare themselves for anything. Either way, something is going to enter into their lives and their daily routine and introduce new experiences for them despite themselves.

A challenge will be placed in front of the sunny disposition and a ray of positivity is going to be placed before the more negative person. It is the natural order of life to stretch us beyond ourselves. So take it. Take each day and each new energy and opportunity and bring it in with open arms, allowing it in to mold your day and your life into something more..something bigger than you.

Positivity, negativity, ease, challenge, joy and pain..make it a part of your routine as it presents itself.

Habitual.

Getting Angry Doesn't Solve Anything.

Get mad..get so mad that you can barely see straight. It is far too easy and far too natural to feel that anger flair up within you when you have been the victim of injustice. It's human and necessary. To have a martyr moment of "Why me?'s" is an important step in moving forward and growing. We all deserve that..but then, once we get our moment of wallowing in self-pity..it is up to us to take the next step forward.

If I have learned anything over the last few months, it is that people and situations are variables in your life. Sometimes the people around you make choices that will enhance your life..sometimes they make choices that will hurt you. At the end of the day, you are not a variable in your own life. You have the ability, control and power to be solid and constant for yourself.

So yes, am I human..do I feel anger for the people that have graced my life the past few months that indeed proved to be variable and not have my best interests in mind? Of course..but I can't stay in that place for long..it's never been in my nature to. So here I am..a smile on my face despite myself...for myself. Keep ever learning, ever moving, ever loving, ever trusting, ever giving..

Getting Angry Doesn't Solve Anything.

Sing.

Gratitude. Thankfulness..the words and emotions surround us today. It's kind of amazing that you can have one day to connect with your family, community and yourself.

So much has changed in my life since last Thanksgiving. I was not separated yet from my marriage, I was living in a different place and what is so strange to me is that I feel as if that was so many years ago sitting where I am now. A completely different person, living a life now that feels so incredibly right to me.

I am truly filled with so much gratitude for each day that I have experienced this year. From the mundane to the painful, the lonely to the loved, the happiness to the disappointments. I am grateful for it all.

So this Thanksgiving, I celebrate today. I celebrate yesterday and tomorrow as well but for this exact moment in time..I simply celebrate today. This exact place. Because it is beautiful.

Sing.

I'm Not Afraid.

If fear is all that we should fear, then what are we so afraid of? We have all heard multiple adaptations of the old adage that there is nothing to fear but fear itself and yet nonetheless, fear is still very tangible. Very real. I am learning over the past month the true value behind crossing the threshold of fear and into new experiences despite my nervousness or apprehensions.

This past month, I have taken leaps and steps that otherwise earlier I would not have taken. When I seclude the things that have always held me back..it truly comes down to one thing. A fear of the unknown or intangible. When you are uncertain of the outcome or even do not entirely trust it, it is all too easy to say no or avoid the entire situation. So this month, I decided to look fear and uncertainty in the eye and move forward. At times, it did not work in my favor..other times, it taught me life lessons often at my own expense..and then there were moments where it truly enhanced my life.

So what are you afraid of? What holds you back to explore, learn and grow? Pain, hurt, frustration..it all can be healed. There truly is nothing to fear in fear. Look and face your fears, cross that threshold and for better or worse experience what is on the other side.

I'm Not Afraid.

When We Do What We Do.

Each step, each glance, each word..there is something deeper than our consciousness that drives who we are naturally. It drives everything we do. There are layers within us..some like a knee-jerk reaction that just comes out as if it is ingrained in every fiber of who we are as people. A lifetime of nature versus nurture coming out as easily as breathing. Another layer that is more taught..a layer that is inspired by the world around us, our conscious self, who we want to be and how we want to contribute in this world.

I am at a place in my life..a turning point really, where I am trying to merge the two layers together. It is so much easier said than done. It seems that this season, I am being handed lessons on a platter..some new, some redundant but all uncomfortable, confusing and at times even deflating. After each scenario however I am given this gift if I so choose to take it and that gift is seeing myself, my subconscious layer in a way that I am not proud of.

It is one thing to write of inspiration, to meditate of ideals and entirely a different thing to action them. As the world puts new distractions, road blocks, new situations..it is easy to stop working at the who you were meant to be, the one you want to be and go to auto pilot, letting your subconscious self take over.

It is these moments when you learn the most not only about yourself, but the people around you and the world around you..and how you fit in to it.

It seems that this month in particular was designed to teach me composure in the face of adversity. From the challenges at work, my romantic relationships, social interactions..it is clear that this is a time designed to learn and grow if I stop and am honest within myself to what I can learn or do differently.

Why do we all do what we do? Why do we look at the world with a certain glance? Why do we say certain things? The things that we do that make us amazing people, the choices we make that impact ourselves and the world around us in a beautiful way..that is something we must celebrate and do more of. The shortcomings that we all have, the things that take away from ourselves and the world around us..we must never stop facing them and working to change, to try a new way. Think of what motivates you positively and negatively. Never give up the growing. Never stop celebrating and working.

When We Do What We Do.

We Make It.

I am officially stepping into the modern world of a single woman with full force. What's different this time around the bend? Well..first of all..the last time I was really truly single, I was 22..therefore..a dumb ass by default. I mean, how seriously could I have taken myself back then?

My girlfriends and I would get tarted up in the most obnoxious shiny club gear..looking like $10 whores..not quite $5 but certainly not $15 either. Meeting the most ridiculous boys that scammed around Orange County..tribal tattoos were the thing back then and though Ed Hardy did not quite exist, the douche bag look was in full force still. It was a different time, I was a different age and none of us really knew who we were yet.

Now, after having dated a little in the past year..I am ready finally to actively seek someone to share my journey with. Earlier this year, I took a backseat to dating..really trying on the "Don't look..let it find you'' mentality but that was not getting me the best results. What was finding me was not necessarily a match.

So, I decided to really be an active participant to my romantic destiny and get myself out there. I joined Match.com this past week and let me tell you..if you have never online dated..it would make your head spin! If you have online dated..you know the drill there and keeping up with your profile is like a full time job!

So they have ways that suitors can express interest in you and you can express interest in them in turn. It is called "winking" but instead of getting to physically wink, you click a button. I just want to let you know that Jane Austin just rolled over in her grave at what I just wrote..but I can assure Jane, romance is not dead..it has just changed. A lot.

In this week..I think I have learned more about myself than my suitors. I have learned that you really do need to be an active participant in your own life. As a single woman, if I feel a compatibility with someone, I need to actively engage with them and not just sit back at home in my PJ's and comfort zone but get out there! Love can't find me if I don't get out there! I also learned that if there is not a compatibility, it is okay to be honest about that because above all else, finding love is not about just love but really finding someone that is your match in every sense of the word.

So, despite this not being my style..preferring the old fashioned ways to meet, be courted and fall in love..I mean, I always have my head in some 1800's romance novel..but I have come to not only terms but have hope and optimism that if you seek it..with an open heart and balanced mind..it will find you.

We make it.

More Each Day.

Never be ashamed of learning, never be ashamed of mistakes and most importantly..never be ashamed of yourself. Being human is kind of beautiful. It is this fun, exciting, sometimes boring, dramatic, clueless, sad, lonely, hurtful, amazing thing.

Look back at your life..think of situations in friendships, relationships, career, community that if given a chance you would do over again. Now there, there it is..that nagging in your stomach of disappointment in yourself and coulda-woulda-shouldas. Now, set that aside..what did you learn? Really take a moment with it. Now, reach out if you can..be humble and admit your falter. Finally, let it go. Smile because you learned something new about yourself and the world you live in.

As we live, we must be open to learning, to loving others and most of all ourselves. Only then can we grow and make a difference in enriching our lives and the lives around us. I have a journey before me but then again, don't we all? So long as humility and learning exist, I find happiness in not only the actual journey but the process behind it.

"Be kinder to yourself. Try to do your best and know at the end of the day it is enough."

More Each Day.

My Hands.

It was less than a full year ago that a small callous caught my attention that rested just below my left hand ring finger from where a wedding ring once sat. I was newly separated and I looked at this callous, rough and seemingly permanent scar that I wanted to fix. I tried everything to quicken it's healing. I used pumice every day, scrubbing until I felt that I had no more skin left but then would look down and see that it was just as prominent as ever.

One day, I just decided that I would let it heal on it's own and in due time when it had had the time to heal, it would simply disappear on it's own. I put the pumice away and forgot about it completely.

Almost a year has gone by and I just happened to look down at my hand and have noticed today that it is completely gone. I could not help but feel a parallel to the skin on my hand and my actual life. In the beginning of my separation and with all of my life changes I was so focused on fixing my life and taking life on with such gusto to the point that it was too much. I mean, I needed to do that just to get the energy to get to the next step but around the time I decided to stop forcing the callous to heal on my timeline, I also decided along the way to let life just happen. And it did.

This past year I have learned more about who I am and how that fits in the world around me than any other time in my life. I have learned more about others and really seeing people for who they are and how they contribute to my life and community. I also learned that you never stop learning more about who you are, who others are, how everything fits together..and that is kinda beautiful.

So here I am, healed and balanced in a way that I don't think could have happened had I forced the process. I remember looking back at that time in my life and being unable to picture what this would feel like to be in the next phase in my new journey..and it has finally arrived. I am healed.

My Hands.

Break The Door Down.

We all get to a place where we are just standing there, in front of a door that is closed. We know that what is on the other side is what we want and where we want to be. So now what?

Well, depending on your personality..some of us will knock politely, not wanting to come in uninvited. Some of us will search our pockets for a possible key we might have, feeling that getting ourselves in the door and problem solving is the best way. Some of us will just look blankly at the door and get discouraged that there is a door there in the first place that was put in our way and feel discouraged that there is no way to get to the destination we desire. Others..others break down the door. They kick it in. Nothing and no one can get in the way of their determination to reach their goal and destination.

Now, I know that we can all relate to one of those scenarios..I know I do. I tend to attempt to kick the door down and then realize that I was not wearing the right shoes and then just stare at the door blankly. That will not only prevent me from getting through the door but it also will only discourage me.

So, what am I learning? I like the passion of breaking the door down..not so much in  a realistic way. Lord knows I would be the last person to literally kick a door down, I can barely kill a spider with my flip flop without getting scared and then feeling bad for the spider. However, I like the drive and determination behind the idea of breaking the door down.

Think of the ambition, passion and adrenaline it takes to move with that much force! Now, that is a way to live and get where you need to..but with one thought..breaking down doors can not be done just by emotion alone. If you want to be successful and look back on how you got through the door with satisfaction, you would have needed to strategize and really planned.

Who says you need to break a door down with a kick or by leaving a path of destruction? You could look at the mechanism of the lock, how the door knob was constructed..you could take careful consideration on how to break it down in a way that you could easily put it back together. This not only takes focus, drive and determination but also patience and balancing emotion with logic.

So this is how I want to live my life..when I am at a door, I want to integrate all of the possibilities..knock, look for a key and if it still is not opened to me..break it down in a way that is careful and precise, almost showing respect to the door in my way. At the end of the day, I will be on the other side..and I will have learned a lot through crossing the threshold. I am going to break down doors. Are you?

Break The Door Down.

This Day.

Today, on my Birthday I am taking in where I am in my life, where I have been and where I am going. I can honestly say that for the first time in years, I am content. That is, I feel going to be the theme of this year. As the past year has definitely brought about change..in fact this has been quite a year..a divorce in the works, moving out, changing my entire lifestyle and relationship with food and how I relate to animals by adopting a vegan and cruelty-free lifestyle..just so much has changed and while it would be all too easy to be overwhelmed by the events and changes in my life..I am content.

That is a blessing in itself. The gift of contentment is not something I take for granted. So this year, I will ride this wave of contentment and see where it takes me. This is the year that I will love my life. This is the year where I will love myself..quirks, flaws, talents, challenges..the whole package. This is the year where I will swear off calorie counting, I will swear off pressuring myself out of accepting myself, I will swear off the fear of saying yes and letting go. This year..is about love, acceptance, contentment and finding fulfillment in the little things.

I look back in gratitude for the things I've learned, the places I've been and the people I have shared my life with. I look at today with happiness..so much so that if today were my last day on Earth I would be content and feel as if I lived a full and abundant life filled with all I could ever have dreamt of. I look to the future with hope and dreams..for all of the things that I have yet to experience, all of the people I have yet to meet and the journey that is before me.

This Day.

Ourselves.

Who are you versus who you want to be? We all have who we are in this moment. The way we look, the way we work, the way we relate to people and the world around us. That is who we are, that is the reality of us. Then we have where we want to be. Where we want to be will always exist but are we concentrating so much on where we want to be that we let that cloud the moment of where we are in reality today?

So many times, living with the hope of an ideal can make it so that in the moment right now you do not enjoy, experience, learn, grow and take away everything that you need. How you experience, relate, respond and engage in your life today is what will make your experience.

The future is always something to strive towards, the elevation of yourself is always something to believe in..so long as you are taking you, in the raw form that you are and experiencing, accepting and living your life to the fullest that you can provide yourself and others in this day.

Ourselves.

On The Wall.

If an ex- lover or current lover were to write something on a bathroom wall about you what do you think they would say? We have all been in relationships..some short, some long, some life changing and others just a moment in time. We have all been heartbroken and broken hearts ourselves. We have been left as well as we have left others behind. Once a parting of ways happens, the question is..how did you part and were you a better person or did you slip back to someone less than elevated and compassionate.

It is Fall, a new phase in life is about to begin for many of us so the focus needs to be..are we compassionate, supportive and understanding as partners and friends. Do we support the people in our lives at whatever level they need or are we self serving to only care about how the other person effects us.

If you are currently in a partnership, think to yourself..are you there completely for your partner unconditionally with no selfish motives? Do you let them be the person they were meant to be with you as a support and cheerleader?

Be good to one another. Listen to one another..and when you listen to them, don't just hear them and support the things you believe in or want..really hear them and support the organic place they are in. Be their friend, respect them over anything else..and if there comes a time where you need to part ways, remember this thought..when they look back on you, let them look back and see a friend not a foe. In order for them to see you in that way, your behavior will have to mirror that of a friend and not a foe.

On The Wall.

About Now.

This exact moment. What are you grateful for? Forget about the things you are not grateful for..in truth, it is too easy to list those things at the drop of a hat. So fight past those things and find a morsel within this moment of gratitude. Once you lock in on that you can't help but smile..and not one of those superficial smiles but one that radiates from deep within you.

Each moment of each day has something redeeming in it that resonates just for you, to bring you happiness. No matter what. You can find it in the moments filled with obvious joy, mundane moments, moments of sadness and disappointment. You can find them everywhere, so long as you just look.

So take the time, at least once a day if not more to just find gratitude and happiness in the now, in the moment you are in wherever you stop to recognize it.

About now.

There's No Room.

The world is filled with a landscape of energy. As you journey through each individual day, each moment you experience new terrain with each step. Many times there is a bountiful and colorful garden before you. Each color brighter than the next, lifting your day and inspiring you with gratitude for the world that you live in.

When you have a garden such of this you mind it with reverence, enjoying each glance and each breath. You tend to it if you want to keep it in such condition. Nourishing the soil with nutrients and water, manicuring it to keep it's aesthetics and the room to grow and develop.

Occasionally, you will run into a weed or a dry patch..threatening to ruin the landscape that surrounds you. Sometimes you are what is stifling your garden to flourish with the way you care for it, your garden needing more than you are providing.

That is your life, that is the energy that surrounds you in your life. The ultimate goal is to live in a landscape of energy that lifts you, inspires you and the world around you. Interruptions of energy pop up in your life and garden that have the power to completely overpower the beauty of your garden. Negative energy, like a weed can suffocate all of the positive energy in your landscape. It can change the world around you and who you are as a person. There is no room for weeds and flowers to grow in the same pot.

Circumstances, disagreements, different point of views..all of these things make up our world. Respect the energy presented to you and then walk away from it. Do not take it on, do not plant it in your landscape, do not own it. Move away respectfully and continue nourishing your garden with positivity and things that inspire you.

Create your world, create the energy you want in your emotional landscape.

There's No Room.

Just To Be.

There is so much to be said in the art of just being. To be completely in the moment you are in, not thinking of the future, the past, what could be or what could have been. There is so much to be said in having peace, fulfillment and satisfaction in the moment you are in..no matter what the moment has presented to you or what circumstance you are in.

It is an art because I feel as if it is almost a conscious decision that we have to decide to do in that moment, for it does not happen by nature for most of us. I think of the moments that it does happen naturally and draw that up to ensure that I have more of that in my days so that no day goes by that I have not enjoyed simply being.

What is it in your life that you naturally can just be in the moment? Is it a cup of tea, meditation, music, writing, being with a good friend, creating something..what is your zen? Take the time to incorporate that into your week..take the time to give your mind, body and spirit the chance to just be. Take all of your hopes, dreams, worries, stresses, baggage and just leave it aside for the moment and enjoy the life that has been presented to you in that very moment. Love your life for what it is, love yourself for who you are..not the life you once had, wished you had or the person you wished or want to be. Love your life today, love yourself today.

It is an art, a craft but you deserve to enjoy this moment in your life. Honor your life, honor yourself.

Just To Be.

Opposed To The Typical.

Within each of us there is a different beat and something unique that makes all of us walk and move in a  different way. If you were to ask our parents what we were like as kids that would speak to the unique and different person that we organically are. Look at kids..really watch them and their personalities and mannerisms. Some are boisterous, silly, shy, serious, introspective..you see them for who they are in their raw form but no matter what you find no child lacks imagination.

Little Lala was loud, silly, said things that made the grown ups mouth drop once in a while and loved bright colors and toys that could keep up with the story lines running through her mind. Not much has changed as you all know, including the toys however in every day I see the pressure that life places to get us to change our tune from the beat of our own drum to the beat that is already playing.

Resist it. Honor the kid in you that created and lived in a limitless world of imagination and expression. Be bold, be proud of yourself but most importantly..be yourself. Your happiness and our world is depending on it.

Opposed To The Typical.

Celebrate Kindness.

Kindness.  It is a word that I use in my vocabulary so often and yet even at that I am still taken back with so much gratitude when I watch it being displayed. I don't think I will ever become jaded to seeing kindness. This past week, I saw examples of kindness and friendship that reminded me that you do not have to wait for the energy you put out there to come back around to you because simply having good energy and kindness will surround and enrich you in that very moment. You make your world, you design the energy around you.

When I wake up in the morning, I try my very best to decide how I want my day to feel and how I want the day to feel to others that are going to share it with me. I am not a perfect person but I really feel like if you want a great day, and you want to have positive connections it is as simple as deciding to do it.  It is my aim, to spend my time with others supporting them and the things that make them happy. That opportunity is one of the things that wakes me up in the morning because to support one another and show kindness can cause such a ripple effect of positivity and amazing energy in your world and the world of others.

So, I just have to share an example of friendship and kindness that really blew me away. As many of you know, my ex and I are still very good friends and not in a "Sure you are" kind of way but we genuinely feel compassion and kindness to each other as family, as if we were brother and sister. People are always in shock at that because divorce usually always ends badly or unresolved but we really support one another and always will. We help each other in various ways all of the time but this past weekend really made me feel gratitude and respect for the theory of kindness.

The front tires on my car were looking shot to hell and I have been traveling a lot for work, driving and am about to drive to LA for fun this weekend. He noticed it and pretty much offered to go run the errand of getting my tires taken care of since he knew I hated physically doing things like that. I was in awe that he would offer to waste his day off stuck at the tire shop while I got to spend my day off watching movies in my PJ's. That, is kindness and paying it forward. I told him he was crazy and too nice and then tossed him my keys while going back to my Snuggie. We are just like that and I am grateful that I can have a family member out of a relationship that in so many other's experienced would have ended in a negative way. It is the way it is because we respect not only each other but the balance of being kind to the people that live in our world. We believe in positivity and building friendship with others through kindness.

It just shows that if you build connections and friendships with people in your life, you will have a world full of family and support no matter what the situation and title. So show kindness, build the energy around you that you want to have. It is true, the energy you put out there will come back to you but more importantly, in that moment..you have created a positive energy and environment that you will be happy to live in that very moment. You will be happy.

So support the people in your life, create a kind and positive world to live in against all odds and elements. Think about what you can do to support and share love with those in your life from the simplest of things to the larger, more monumental things. Are you adding to the world and the people around you or hindering? Create your world and the environment you want to live in.

Celebrate Kindness.

Be True.

There is nothing more beautiful, more raw, more pure than the being true to yourself and to those around you. As we spend each day of our lives,each moment of our days we have to ask ourselves..were we living up to our true selves?

Within each of us, there is a beautiful and organic version of ourselves. This person to the core is who we are in our purest of forms before outside elements, circumstances and situations begin to cloud or detour us. So take a moment...look within yourself..are you giving the organic you the chance to shine and live?

If there is anything in your way, clouding who you were designed to be..begin slowly letting any of those things fall from you. Free yourself from anything that is changing who you are in a way that is not pleasing to you. Get in touch with that person within, know them, honor them, love them, give them the opportunity to live through you even against the elements.

Be the you that you have always wanted to be, it is never too late to begin each day. It could change your life as you know it as well as the lives of those around you.

Be True.

Harmony.

Friendly agreement: a situation in which there is friendly agreement or accord
Pleasing combination of sounds: a pleasing combination of musical sounds

Notes sung or played together: a combination of notes that are sung or played at the same time.

Harmony. It surrounds us each day from a group of birds chirping to a feeling that everything just fits perfectly in that very moment to a simple song that fills the air in such a way that all time and place stops. Harmony, to me is everything. It is where I find beauty, where I find sanctuary and where my zen lies.

How do you find harmony? Think about that for just a moment. When you feel as if you have found your place, the place that you were designed to be at physically and spiritually. Now, today..go there. Go to your home, wherever that might be, with whoever that might be, doing whatever it might be that gives you harmony and surround yourself with it.

When you have hit a perfect chord, it encapsulates you to a state where you worry of nothing. Every one and everything around you is second fiddle to the symphony that fills your air.

All will be right in the world from your place of harmony and most importantly, all will be right with you. Your home, your zen, your happiness, your harmony.

Harmony.

Live Today.

I don't live my life with the intention to be the lucky SOB to end up on Willard Scott's "You are super old and now we are going to give you a shout out brought to you by Smucker's" segment.  I don't wake up every morning excited for the next decade. I don't see each of my friends and take each meeting with a new acquaintance the entire time thinking of the next time we will meet again. I live for today. Each moment in the moment, each experience from the mundane to the fantastical.

I have not always lived that way, I by nature am a resident of Lala Land and in Lala Land everything takes place in daydreams and daydreams take place in the future. This year though, as I was off in Lala Land, dreaming and scheming my next place I looked up and saw that damn Smucker's segment on the Today Show and realized "What if there is not an indefinite amount of time to live our lives?". In that second I snapped back to the moment I was living in and decided that daydreaming the future would be fine and yet I needed to be more present in the actual moment that I have been given to experience.

I sipped my coffee and appreciated how delicious it was, I took in the simple moment I was in. Nothing earth shattering was going on in that moment, nothing noteworthy and yet..I enjoyed it. Ever since, I treat each moment as it is. I am fully present from the uneventful to the exciting, the painful to the joyous. I appreciate my career and the daily amazing moments, I appreciate the people that I share my life with day to day.

Now, when I want something..I grab it. I don't worry about "Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda's" anymore..if things were meant to work out, they will..if not, I put my two cents in to the Universe and knew that I tried before moving on to experience what the next moment has in store for me. I live with the nothing ventured, nothing gained mentality from the smallest things to the grandest of things. I put myself and each moment out there with a sense of entitlement because we are all entitled to go out there and really live for today..not for what could be. You will never know what could have been if you don't just follow your wants, needs and dreams in the moment for the moment could come and go..leaving you and your hopes in the dust.

Gone are the days that I take each day for granted. You never know when you are going to sip your last amazing sip of coffee, roll your eyes at that thing that annoys you, buy that thing that will make you smile, kiss that person that makes your knees weak, hear that song that moves you, do that thing that exhausts you, cry messy tears, act on that impulse you feel or laugh with that person that shares your humor. So..live it. Don't delay today for what could be tomorrow because you may find that tomorrow never comes.

Live Today.

What You Say.

What you say and what you do together create your place in this world. One is not more important than the other and yet one can not thrive without the other either. As humans we live with all of our senses, auditory and the physical experience both coming into play. So, what if you were at a restaurant and the waiter came to your table and spoke with articulation of the most amazing, mouth watering dish..you were on the edge of your seat to then fully experience this dish but it never came out.

In this case, it is all about not just talking about it but being about it. It is one thing to articulate, to conceptualize but if there was no follow through it is all for naught. So what in your life are you conceptualizing but yet it never quite comes to fruition? Think of the disservice you are doing your words and thoughts by not giving it the follow through and platform to come to life.

Today is the day where you can make the commitment that if you can dream it, conceptualize it, talk about it..you can be about it. Your actions can speak volumes for you. Give yourself the platform to follow through, give yourself the time and the game plan and then most importantly give yourself the support as you commit that you are no longer going to just talk about greatness but you are going to be greatness.

What you say.

Go Home.

We all have gone through phases where we have taken fate's gentle hand and forced it like it was hitting a buzzer on a game show. We recognize those times of course through hind sight however we all can look back and think of those times and now the place we are in today having hopefully learned the valuable lesson that you can't force fate and still feel at home.

It can be a job, relationship, location, crusade or lifestyle where the lack of patience gets in the way. We all face things daily that we are passionate about and want to drive for results and yet, there is something to be said about putting your energy out there, your hard work and then watching fate's hand do what it will. If it is a fit and meant to be in your life and you work hard towards it, it will..if not, it simply won't and that is worth all the while since it is not your home, where you are designed to fit and be.

So dream, work hard to initiate the things that you want and wish for. Find a balance between eating low hanging fruit, high growing fruit and then even planting your very own seeds to cultivate and grow your own fruit. Life is this beautiful mixture of things that fall in your lap, things you have to work for and things that you have to create and initiate. So live it, respect it and watch you find your place in this world.

Success, failure, love, joy, sadness, rejection, hurt, comfort and strength. It was all designed for us to feel and a compass to find, fight and appreciate our place in this world. Respect the hand of fate and find your home.

Go Home.

Turn The Page.

Have you ever been reading a book, perhaps even late at night and you liked the concept of reading it yet no matter how hard you tried to get into it you would find that you had read the entire page and yet did not pay attention to any of it? It was as if your eyes were on auto pilot. So you try to reread the page yet another time..you realize you get to the bottom and the same thing happened all over. You feel guilty that you can not seem to pay attention to the story..everyone and their brother said you needed to read it..hell, even Oprah devoted an entire show to how this book will change your life and yet you can't seem to pay attention. So, you set it down on your nightstand in hopes that tomorrow you can try again to appreciate it.

This time last year that was how I lived my life every single day. If my life was a page in a book I was on auto pilot, going through the motions, looking like I was reading but really I was just stuck on the same page. I was unable to move forward, to appreciate where I was in the moment and though everything appeared perfectly fine in reality everyday I would go to sleep in hopes that the next day it would all just work.

At the end of last year, I had the realization that I was in the wrong place. I was reading a good book but the wrong book and if I ever had hopes of reading again I would need to retire this book and find the right book that fit me better. So I did, respectfully with a reverence to the life that I had lived until that point. I needed to find my place in this world and I knew it was not where I was, so I held my head up and went searching.

Now, I am beginning this new chapter in a new book and the experiences and emotions that this new chapter in my life are teaching me are game changing. Strength, individuality, loneliness, introspection, fear but my most favorite now..fulfillment and hope. Each day holds a new lesson and a new emotion and I am certain that this will be a lifelong process however I am at a turning point in this chapter in my life.

I have met and connected with people in the community that I live in that have changed my life. They have become apart of my plot as I have become apart of theirs. Rediscovering a sense of community and connecting with these amazing people moves me. It gives me strength and fills my heart with warmth that to my complete surprise gives me inspiration as we share laughter, struggles and daily mundane things to simply turn the page.

Life feels right. To someone who has been stuck on the same page, feeling so wrong for so many years to finally have found my place in the right story is beyond explanation of gratitude and emotion..but in simple terms..it feels beautiful. I am excited for everything that life has in store for me finally..I am waiting with baited breath to experience each lesson and adventure the following pages have in store for me.

Turn The Page.

That's The Road.

It will forever be debated as to if destiny creates us or if we create our own destiny. This has been a debate that has spanned civilizations for hundreds of years and yet at the end of the day, though there will never be proof of which came first much like the chicken and the egg we all still hold a reverence for the amazing phenomenon of destiny.

Destiny. Whatever your personal belief is as to how it affects your life, we all can agree that it does affect our lives. We are all given this amazing gift of life. Some of us have given a road that is easier to follow, more secure and some of us have been given hardships to shape us and challenge us. What are you doing with this amazing gift? How are you maximizing and utilizing the destiny that is before you? All of us, no matter what cards we are dealt have the opportunity to play the hand to it's full potential. Are you?

Love, joy, happiness, friendship, success, heartbreak, illness, strife, loneliness...it is all in our destiny. What will you learn? How will you grow? Look your destiny..the one that is staring at you in the face in this very moment and take it in. It is yours and yours alone right now. Make the most of it, learn, celebrate, grow. Don't take a moment of your destiny for granted.

That's the road.

When You Shine.

It is in you, so strong and so natural that when you give it just the room to run free it lights up a room. It makes everyone stop and take notice, look in awe, it inspires people, changes lives and makes their day. That is your shine. Your natural talent and personality. The very thing that makes you, you.

You don't have to work at it, think of how to do it..it just flows from every fiber of you. What is it in you that naturally shines? Is it a talent you have that makes others happy? A knowledge that you have that helps others? A skill or trade that you can easily do but will change other's lives? Whatever it is that you are amazing at, whatever it is that you shine at..let it run free today.

Give it the space, the platform to really run free. Too often do we not only just let others around us and circumstances block our shine but we too often block it before other's even get the chance to. So make a commitment to yourself today. Use your shine today, let it out and give it a chance. Change lives, make people happy, make yourself happy with your shine as only you can! Never hinder it at your own hand and never let anyone else hinder it for you as well. I can't wait to see how your shine knocks me off my feet next time I cross your path.

When you shine.

My wish.

Some may find it silly that at 11:11 my world stops to make a wish. Think of it as you will however for me, that is my time to stop and honor my dreams amongst the hustle and bustle of the day. Our days are all filled with so much at times that taking a moment to get in touch with your wants gives you a moment of empowerment and hope.

My wishes are as diverse as the mind that owns them..sometimes it is an out of reach wish just for a moment of fairy tale, sometimes it is more so a goal I am working on, sometimes it is an affirmation and even at times it is something very minor..sometimes a girl just wants a piece of dark chocolate! Either way, it is my one moment to think of the first thing that comes to mind that I am dreaming of and honor it.

As adults, we begin to slowly dishonor our dreams. As children, we live in a constant 11:11 state. It is so very necessary that children have that quality for in that freedom to dream and feeling as if there are no limits to their dreams they mold and form the kind of person they want to build themselves to be in the future. The place where we all are today, no matter what place you are had a foundation of the child you once were and the dreams they once had.

To live in a constant state of 11:11 is not reality, so we can not really pay it round the clock respects as we did when we were children. I mean, 11:11 does not pay your electricity bill or run your dishwasher but it is so easy to let all of those realities of life overpower the natural talent we have within us all to dream.

So, silly as it may seem..frivolous as well..take a couple of moments out of your day, everyday to simply honor your dreams. From the outlandish, the realistic tomorrows you want to reach to even some small luxury that you would enjoy. It does not have to be at a designated time, just pick a time that makes sense to you and give yourself that time every day. Honor your dreams, your wishes..just honor you.

My wish.

Look What You Can Do.

The world is more beautiful each and every day simply because you are in it. The powers that we all hold over the world we live in and the people in our lives are so strong that it can be hard to even fathom at times. That random smile that you offered to the stranger that you passed by may seem like nothing but perhaps you sparked a light in them that they carried to the next stranger that they crossed next. This small ripple effect makes a wave that can span over thousands of lives for the better. It happened all because you made the choice to take a single moment out of your life to smile at someone rather than ignore of pass them by untouched.

For all of the beauty and good in the world, unfortunately there is a flip side of bad intentions and ugly. Just writing that sentence out loud brings a heaviness to my heart since I tend to love the world in a tint of rose colored hue however, rather than thinking of all of the ugly things in the world that sadden and overwhelm..try thinking of what small act of kindness you can do that will cause a ripple effect to bring about a wave of change.

There is always so much that we all have the power to do and it is too easy not to reach out and do those things because they can overwhelm, they can make you feel as if you are powerless and lack resources. Think back to how simple smiling at that stranger was and yet what a ripple effect it created..you can do that every single day.

What do you want to change in the world? What is something that when you think of it, you feel a heavy heart? Look within your resources and make the start of a ripple. Is it a simple smile, a phone call reaching out to a friend in need to listen, is there a resource you can give of to better the situation or fund another, is there a choice of something you can give up to support a cause? Your simple presence makes a difference in the lives of those you know in your community and can span over acres of people you will never even know you affected.

You bring beauty, life and hope to the world we share together with one another. You make all the difference just by being you when people need it the most. Start today. What will you do to be the change today?

Look what you can do.

All Of Yourself.

There is a delicate balance to everything and everyone. No one is exempt and I find that beautiful. When I look at people, I see a spectrum of things and can't help but smile. Sometimes it is easy for us to get lost in the things that we view as shortcomings and let that define us. I see that daily in my profession..women obsessing over a line or a feature that they posses and as they are speaking with so much passion for how much they detest these things about themselves I look at those same features and find them beautiful. They are not the things that define them however they are the things that make them..well..them and that is beautiful in itself.

So what is on your mind? What are the things about yourself that when you think about them get you down and you feel like you are worth less for those things being apart of your life? It could be anything from a feature, your shape, your hair, your financial situation, your social interactions...there are so many ways that we can feel easily defeated in our own minds. So here is the beautiful truth..everyone feels that way and it is because no one is perfect. No one feels perfect.

Beautiful people feel inadequate, smart people feel inadequate, wealthy people feel inadequate, successful people feel inadequate...everyone has an Achilles heel and I find it beautiful that they do. It is far too easy to get lost in the things we want to change about ourselves to the point that it can overwhelm us really getting to celebrate and love the things about ourselves that make us shine.

So think about your Achilles heel..think about how you would not be you without it because we all are a delicate balance of strengths and shortcomings. We can not have strengths without shortcomings. Embrace those shortcomings because they make you the organic you and the organic you is beautiful.

That line above your lip means you have smiled a lot, the curve to your shape means you have tasted and enjoyed life, the place you are at in your life in this very moment is you. Beauty, career, finances, intelligence, success...this very moment it is you. Embrace that. You are amazing, you being the you that is in front of you right now is reality. So stop comparing that person to the vision that is in your head and holding you back from loving yourself.

To love yourself..all of yourself, the good with the lacking is no longer a luxury but a dire necessity.

All Of Yourself.

Get Out Of Your Seat.

There is an icebreaker game that I use before meetings so that everyone can get a sneak peek into the lives of the other people that are attending the meeting. It is my favorite icebreaker game simply because it is an easy way to look at those who share your similarities and watch others that do not. The premise of the game is simple..a facilitator asks everyone to sit and pop up out of their seat to stand if one of the descriptions match their life.

Some basic Pop Up questions are always "Stand up if you have kids, pets, tattoos..etc.." but no matter what the questions are I always love recognizing the people that stand up over the same things that I do. I make a mental note that later I want to see pictures of their pets or ask them where their tattoo is and of what. Bookmarking what we have in common and building a bond from there.

Now, the other thing that makes Pop Up so amazing is that you not only build a quick camaraderie with the people that are like you but you also get to learn about people that are not like you. All of the sitting participants watch the people that popped up in curiosity while they remained seated. Inspiring ideas of how they want to get to know this person that is so different from them.

So, I've been thinking about this quite a bit this month. The similarities that are out there and how it is far too easy to quarantine yourself and only surround your personal contacts with like minded people that share similarities to you. While, it is so important to find people to relate with on a level that is similar to yours and offers you support for who you are it is also important to surround yourself with people that are very different from you and your tastes as well.

Not only does it teach you new things, new points of views and gives you a global education but at the end of the day..it is just so rewarding to surround yourself with a diverse assortment of personalities, likes, dislikes and beliefs. It makes for a rich life full and abundant in characters.

So, the next time that you have an opportunity to spot someone that is similar to you, smile. This person will understand you to the core and friendship will be as easy as breathing. Take an extra moment to also relate to those that are different from you as well..spot them and smile even wider knowing that they are going to add a flavor and perspective that only they can add.

Get Out Of Your Seat.

Filter That.

Filters. I like to call them Quality control. We use them everyday from the physical of making coffee to the air we breathe. It is because of these filters that we can enjoy the end product of things without disruption or noise that might get in the way of a harmonious experience. We do this spiritually and socially each day as well. From not dropping the F Bomb in front of that old lady at the supermarket to how we all interact with the people we know and love in our lives.  Filters are apart of our lives to make our interactions and days move smoothly together.

So I ask you, when one of your friends asks you.."Where would you like to do lunch?" what is your reaction? I find there are three groups here. Which category do you tend to live in..are you overusing your filter, underusing your filter or balanced.

The Underused Filter. You know exactly what you would like to eat and what time to meet up. You express it right away with no filter, ready to eat the best meal of your life that you've been craving. Pay no mind that once your friend said that she hated Thai food..she should try it again because it is amazing! You know that because you like it, she will like it too if she just gives it another chance..I mean, the fact that you will be there alone will make the food better because let's face it, you are awesome.

The Balanced Filter: You think you have an idea of where you would like to go however you are not sure if they would like it too so you ask them politely if they would be interested in that place as well. You tell them what interests you about it if they have never heard of it before and are ready to listen to their preferences to see if they would like it as well. Together you reach a mutual agreement. You know that even though you really want to go to this particular place you are flexible and sensitive to their wants because at the end of the day, it is not really about the meal but more about getting to see them.

The Overused Filter: You would rather die than have to voice where you are interested in eating for it is more comfortable for them to make the decision and you just come along for the ride. Perhaps you know what you are interested in eating but you get misconstrued as someone who either does not know or are so go with the flow that you get taken advantage of. Never mind that they picked the Haus of Bacon and even bacon is in the water and you of course never mentioned to your friend that you have a condition where if you eat bacon your throat closes up and you have to stab yourself with an anti-allergy pen so that you don't convulse and die right there on the lunch table.

Which category are you? I am a mixture between Underused and Balanced..always having an idea of what I am in the mood for, having no trouble voicing it but finding it imperative for my fun to ensure that whoever is joining me not be in hell the whole time..considering it really is not about the actual lunch but sharing the experience.  Really think about it though and how your use of filters effects the people around you.

If you have little to no filter it is so easy to overwhelm and dominate experiences to the point of unpleasantry. More so if you are dominating over someone that has an overused filter and is not comfortable voicing their wants..you can rail road them without even knowing it and the chances are they will never tell you that you did. Take a moment to have empathy for the people around you and really care about what makes them unique from you and how you can support that.

If you have so much filter that you never pitch in and express your wants and views you also are in dangerous territory. Finding it too easy to be passive and internally frustrated while the people around you never even had so much as a warning as to what they have done to upset you or be inconsiderate because you never asked for what you needed. Take a moment to have confidence that your opinions and needs matter. Your true friends will want you to enjoy the experiences you share together but it starts with you comfortably expressing who you are and your preferences.

So today, when someone asks you "What would you like...." not just for food but anything in life that you need just stop. Think first what you would like. Put your thoughts and ideas at the forefront of your mind even if it takes you a a moment. They asked you, really honor that and represent yourself and what you want. Then, state what you would like. Ask them their thoughts on that. Arrive to a decision together. Make sure that your preferences and the preferences of the people in your life come together in a compromised and balanced experience. Again, this is not about lunch..this spans every interaction in life..how you need to be communicated with, your work environment, the time you spend with your family, sharing tasks and chores with those in your life. In all things, use your filter wisely.

Filter That.

Doing Nothing.

With all of the hustle and bustle of life, day to day chores, responsibilities, stimulation, relations, fun, stress..always going and going there is an an art to doing nothing. Each and every one of us needs a moment to regain our balance, to recalibrate our thoughts, feelings, physical being and just do nothing but be alone in our own thoughts.

For some of you, that is easier said than done. Many of us are being pulled in so many opposite directions that we are uncertain where to even look next let alone take time out of our busy lives to just simply do nothing. I challenge you, make that time. What if you were on your cell phone all day nonstop and never had the opportunity to plug it in and charge it up? What if you never synced your smart phone or downloaded new updates to make it run more efficiently? Certainly it would crash and die. It would not be effective.

We are not so different from that technology and yet we often do not give ourselves the same recalibration time to be effective spiritually, emotionally or physically. The roadblocks that get in the way can be as simple as feeling guilty, lazy, not asking for what we need or even not allowing yourself to just let go and disengage for a period of time.

So this week, make a commitment to yourself to disconnect. Even if for a moment and do nothing. Take time to not be productive, not achieve a result, live in those moments to just have time alone to rest your entire being. Recharge, recalibrate, update and hold a reverence for simple moments of peace so that you can then give life your all with complete balance and gusto.

Doing Nothing.

Where You're From.

It all starts with where you're from but in no way does where you are from determine where you are. We all have this amazing story..even if you feel as if you have not lived an extraordinary life I can promise you that you have. Now, not to get all Kathy Lee on you and sing "Everyone has a story" because it gives me a migraine just thinking of her but the idea is true. Every one of you does have an amazing story to tell. How you got from point A to point B is nothing short of a miracle..in fact, the fact that you are even at a point B and en route to even a point C is something to share and celebrate.

So, where are you from? What got you to where you are today? Really take a moment to think of all of the growth and learning's. Mistakes you made, positions that you were placed in that were less than desirable. The moments in your life that brought you to the "Why me?" thoughts. Looking back, how did you benefit from them? Celebrate where you were.

Now think of all the love that has surrounded you in your life. Think of who were the mentors that assisted in shaping who you are today? Who are the people that impacted you? Celebrate them. Let all of their inspiration that they gave you carry on into your life even after you remembered that you needed them. Use their inspiration to re inspire yourself at this point in your life and even better, use that inspiration to inspire others in need of a mentor.

Wherever you are today, it took a lot to get you here. Be proud and grateful for all of that journey and use that gratitude to carry you on to your next destination. The road is not consistent. You will have hardships, disappointments but you will also have love and joy. Celebrate it all. Past, present, future.

Where You're From.

All Of Us.

Stop. Take a moment to think of all of the people that make up the mosaic that is your life. Think of your family, your peers at work, think of the friends that have been in your life for the long haul that know you better than you know yourself. Now, think of the people that are sprinkled in as special acquaintances. There is a lot to be grateful for, isn't there?

I am overwhelmed this month with gratitude for the opportunity to have each and every person in my life. This month in particular I have been blessed with the chance to have all of these new and amazing people added to my mosaic. It started with a simple invitation that I said yes to and now am surrounded by this community of beautiful souls and hilarious people. Each day, I feel more and more blessed as they invite me into their life and I invite them into mine.

This is a new concept to me. I have always had a lot of acquaintances simply because I am loud and unfiltered in social situations so I tend to meet a lot of hilarious and fun  people but I went through a time the last few years where I really kept to myself outside of work. Working..going home to DVR..working..coming home to DVR. Not that my DVR isn't amazing, it truly is but it is not as gratifying or fulfilling as the blessing that is meeting new people. This seclusion really began around the time that my marriage was dissolving. Now that I am in a new and fresh chapter in my life, it was just time to put the energy out there that I was ready to surround myself in a new community.  So I simply said yes and it has brought so much love and happiness into my life.

So, take that moment. Feel the gratitude for those that make up your life. New, old, acquaintance..relationships of all kinds. All of us together is what makes this amazing community of life.

All of us.

You've Got Sleepless In Seattle.

The charm of any Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movie is too hard for any woman to resist. What is it about them? They all start with a very similar theme. Two worlds apart..somehow cross paths..find interest in one another..insert some kind of conflict..it looks like they will not get together after all..insert a Frank Sinatra song or two..oh wait..never mind, they end up getting together. They literally even use the same stylists, prop people and I even think that the writers use the script like Mad Libs as a template to change the movie script up from film to film. Yet, we love them..I know that I for one can not get enough of them.

So what is it about them? Is it that we want to believe that love can happen against all odds? Is it that we hope love will always find a way? For me, I think it is a mixture of all of the above and then some. So what is it for you? Do you believe in meant to be's..circumstance..timing..soul mates? I am still trying to figure that one out myself but I know that I like to believe in all of those things and more. This amazing merge of both the beauty of love and romance mixed with the daily mundanes of life. It is beautiful if you ask me..and I can say that many of my estrogen infused ladies could not agree more.

So no matter where you are in life..married, divorced, single..celebrate love and the idea of love. Celebrate not only the love that lives in the movies with the story lines and moments designed to make our hearts pitter patter but celebrate real love and that it does exist. Celebrate it if you have found it. Celebrate it in the mundane tasks you both share together from putting away the groceries to watching your favorite shows together. Celebrate it and believe in it if you are still looking for it because I do believe it exists in every form that you are hoping for. I may still be searching for all of the answers, for what is out there for me but I will never stop celebrating the beauty and art in love.

You've Got Sleepless In Seattle.

Taste Of The Good Life.

The ultimate destination in life is the day where you wake up and take yourself for who you are. All of your strengths, all of your opportunities. The day where you not only accept yourself but you truly love yourself unconditionally. I call it a destination because it is something you earn, something you were born with and yet as we grew into young children social filters began to take over, metrics we had to meet in school, expectations and then we each developed an uncertainty within ourselves that took us through our adulthood.

Many of us will carry that with us through the duration of our lives but imagine, if you will..how comforting it would feel if you accepted yourself. What if you put expectations, metrics, titles aside? What if you fell in love with you..not the you you wish to be or the you that others might wish you to be but the organic and true you that you are in this very moment?

"Falling in love with yourself and being true to your needs is no longer a luxury but a dire necessity." I stumbled across that quote in the beginning of this year and it really has changed my life. I live by it true and true. By nature, I am one that wants others to feel good, supported and heard. So much so that I would not do the same things for myself. Now, I ask myself often..am I kind to myself? Did I take care of myself..my spirit, my mind, my body, my heart? I live to support myself now as a whole. It does not change that there are pressures from work, insecurities in life and moments of drought but overall, I have my back. There is something comforting to know that no matter what you always have you. It will change your life, it will change how you care for others better.

So take a moment, court yourself. Close your eyes and celebrate the thing that you are most proud of when you think of who you are..be it a spiritual thing, a physical trait, an accomplishment. Focus on that and smile. Take pride in that very thing and let it carry you. You deserve it.

Now, take a moment and think of the one thing that makes you who you are that you wish was not so. Again, it can be something about your personality or temperament, a physical trait, your circumstance. Focus on that and take a deep breath. Respect that very thing about yourself. Accept it, embrace it. Now..let me say..if that thing that you hate about yourself is that you beat old ladies that are crossing the street with canes perhaps we need to have a different talk but for the most part it is things in regards to finances, you wish you looked a different way, you wish you lived in a different scenario. Things that generally you can elevate but are a struggle to you. We take struggles and somehow internally make them define us. What I am asking you to do today, is to take that struggle and accept it. Accept you.

Arrive at that destination where you love yourself, unconditionally..the good, the bad, the mediocre. Once you have that, you will always have support and love in your life every moment of every day.

Taste of the good life.

Sleep Soundly.

What causes conflict? Is it lack of understanding for where the other person is coming from? Is it not really communicating what you each need and therefore causing a tension to be built because the expectations aren't being given? Is it not seeing eye to eye and not respecting each other's ideas, thoughts and feelings? Conflict is unfortunately a part of life and my nature, is to diffuse it. I truly feel life is too beautiful to spend in conflict. I believe in agreeing to disagree but really respecting the person and their point of views in the process.

So, in conflict..take a moment, a step back and ask yourself a few things. "Where does it seem they are coming from and why?" Then respect it. Not necessarily agree but really respect it in reverence. Celebrate what makes them different from you, the way they tick, what drives them, their strengths and insecurities. Once you have truly gained empathy and respect for them as a person and their views then you really have a foundation for reaching an understanding.

Now, you can ask yourself.."What is it that I need and do they know what I need and why?". Passive aggressive behavior is easy to get swept away by. We all have needs, point of views and preferences. Things that we need in a work environment, things we need from our friends and family to enrich us. Most of the time I believe that people are unaware of what we need but would be happy to meet us halfway or provide those things if we only just asked. It is not fair to hold someone accountable for frustrating you when they have not even been given the communication that they are and what they could do to not frustrate you.

After coming from a place of love and respect, then really uncovering the needs and hidden needs of yourself and the others in your life you can then begin to move forward and reach a level that has open communication..free of frustration and conflict.

We all have so much to offer one another. Nothing is by chance, the relationships we build at work, at home, in love and in life. We were all put together to celebrate our differences, come together and enrich one another's experience in life. We can do this and let me tell you, it feels amazing to work together and really grow together as a community.

So, who are you in conflict with? Open that communication, respect them, love them and build that bridge with your differences.

Sleep Soundly.

What If..?

What if you just said yes? What if you dreamt with no limitations..opening up your imagination to stretch it's legs and hold no bounds? What if you didn't let fear and uncertainty stop you from elevation? I have been asking myself that for the past week. Think of all the things in your lifetime that you have said no to and it was not that you refused it due to moral or ethical reasons..those are always fine..I mean, we can't all be Charlie Sheen and Corey Haim..but think about what things in life you have said no to because you were insecure, feared failure or could not envision how it would turn out.

We all do it. Every day. We do it because safety is comfortable. Sometimes we are willing to risk the chance of feeling stagnant or not taking the chance to elevate our lives simply for safety. During our existence we have had to take leaps of faith to move forward and of course those leaps were uncomfortable and scary in those times as well. Look back on your life thus far and think of the leaps you have taken to be the person you are today. It started even when we were children, the comfort of crawling and having our Mother's take us where we needed was comfortable but even through the feeling of security and comfort we all had an itch to move forward, to elevate. Try as we might to want to stay stagnant and stay comfortable we all took that leap of faith..we began walking. Throughout our development we continued with that same leap of faith over periods of time. So why is it that as adults we can sometimes begin to reason with that fear and make excuses to stay so very comfortable and stop from elevating? Why do we continue crawling when we have an itch to try walking?

What is something that you have recently been prompted or invited to do and you said no due to fear of the unknown? Today, gather your courage and remove the limits you are placing on yourself and simply ask.."What if..?" Then, take that step..that leap and see what could happen. Look elevation in the face, stop crawling and see where your steps take you.

What if..?

Oxygen.

When you listen, half-heartedly to the flight attendant as she gives you the safety instructions before takeoff you will notice that in the case that the cabin loses pressure and the oxygen masks drop, you are instructed to secure your mask first and then if there is anyone needing assistance you can then assist them with their oxygen mask. They do this because for you to truly assist the other person and give them the support they need, you must first ensure that you have what you need in it's entirety first. This came to me this week in my travels and I thought to myself how often this parallel comes into our lives.

Are you getting enough oxygen? Are you getting the things that you need before moving to give it to the other's in your life. This can not only pertain to your relationships but also your activities. Are you, as a spiritual, emotional, mental and physical being filling up first before you expel it out and give pieces of you to the world?

Now think, if you are getting your oxygen supply..are you helping the others around you that appear to need your assistance? Are you sitting there feeling secure and taken care of and yourself, not noticing how others are gasping for air and how they could use your helping hand? Take action.

Take action for yourself, fill yourself, secure your oxygen supply. Make sure that you are getting your needs met, then once you have secured your needs..reach out and hep other's secure their needs. The world needs all of us, people need us. Families, friends, businesses depend on us..make sure you are giving to them but make sure that before you do, you have something to give.

Oxygen.

Expect The Unexpected.

It is so easy to lose perspective when you are frustrated or disappointed. Whether it be in yourself, the people around you or even a cocktail of the two causing the frustration it is easy to lose yourself in the emotion. If you take a moment to think about why you are disappointed it always filters back to a few things that we can control if we so choose to. Unrealistic expectations on yourself and others will always lead to frustration and disappointment so just with that knowledge, change the way you begin looking and expecting and watch the world around you become more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Reasonable expectations on yourself and others. My favorite phrase from one of my professional mentors was "Under promise and over deliver". Are we doing that? Are we setting attainable goals and expectations with the intent that once we have mastered them we can elevate them? If we do that simple strategy we can not only feel fulfillment in what we achieve but also others can as well. Are we giving the impression that we can do something beyond our capacity in hopes that we can kick it into high gear and still achieve it? Are we reading into other's and expecting they can do more than we know they can? Take your big picture goal and break it down into milestones. Make life achievable and use realistic goals and expectations.

Understanding the reality that others are not us. They are unique individuals with their own points of views, skill sets, needs and ways of doing things. I feel like we expect people to do things exactly as we would do them. We need to recognize that and respect what makes that person different from us and valuable so that we can change our expectations to fit their capacity, not ours. Treat others as they would want done unto them, not as we would want done unto ourselves. How many times have you been disappointed because you think you would have done something better or you could not grasp why they didn't do it as you needed? Stop for a moment and appreciate how they work, how they think and feel. Celebrate how people are different and appreciate how they bring things to the table.

Lastly, acceptance if something does not turn out the way you expected or envisioned whether it be at your own hand or the hands of others. This can be from the mundane things to the bigger picture items. Let go, let love..be forgiving and understand. Most things are not worth getting frustrated over but we are only human. So the next time that your husband doesn't unload the dishwasher when you expected he would or you didn't fit into that dress that you bought a size too small hoping you would fit into it soon or your child got himself in a heap of trouble that you can not imagine how he got himself into it..take a moment. Let your expectations still remain but let the frustration go and then and only then can you together communicate realistic expectations.

Expect the unexpected.

The Greatest.

A blank sheet of paper. Sometimes that can be your worst nightmare, not knowing where to begin or not having the inspiration of what to place on it and how. Other times it can be empowering when you have the image in your mind of what you need to place there and the opportunity to bring it to fruition is a dream come true. Then, what happens most of the time is we think we might have an idea of what we want to place on the paper but don't have the full concept or vision however we just begin placing things on the paper anyway in hopes that it will eventually begin coming together and making sense..sometimes it does and others it continues not making sense.

Paper. It is not always paper but that is how we take on days, new experiences and tasks that we need to complete. How we take our knowledge and understanding towards our days and apply them can change the world around us as we know it. I am captivated by the process of how we all go from point A to point B everyday, how we create our world.

Think of all of the amazing thoughts and ideas that today make your life. From the obvious of electricity to transportation, the idea of the Internet and social networking..even the cup, somebody was once like, "This is ridiculous drinking out of my hands..I am so over this!" and poof became the cup.  Now think of the ideas and thoughts that impact us in ways that we can sometimes take for granted. Your family, friends, pets, where you live...they are all ideas that were brought to fruition whether you were the catalyst for those decisions coming to life or someone else. The beauty that the people we gravitate towards as friends and lovers, family and colleagues we trust are all people that we had ideas of getting close to but made the decision to build that thought from a simple idea to a tangible thing in out life. All of these ideas that transitioned into reality.

Not all ideas merit being brought to life but think of all the amazing things that make your life simply by an idea being brought to paper. What this reminded me of was that the ideas that all of us think all day from the "Why has someone never thought of this before? This would make so much sense.." Ah-hah moments that could literally be inventing the wheel for us. The "I should really do this for my life, it would make it better" thoughts that could make all the difference in your personal life. What stops the great ideas from coming to life? We do.

So the next time that you have that idea that could change the world or just an idea that could change your world, don't stop yourself at the idea..bring it to life. Whether you know what to put on the metaphorical paper exactly or not..just begin creating.

The greatest love affair started with a "Hello", the greatest love song started with a note and the Mona Lisa started with a stroke..be one of those.

The Greatest.

Recreation.

The most beautiful thing about life is that it moves in stages. Something overcomes all of us at certain points where we feel so strongly that we are not in the place we should be doing the things we should be doing and from there many things stem. When some of you are in that place, you take control..making game plans, charting out your next steps so not to make the same  decisions you might have made in the past with almost an avengance. Some of you act out, rebelling against plans and indulging in anything you want whenever you wish. Some of you check out, feeling defeated where a depression takes you under as you wonder how your life got to this point.  Some of you feel a cocktail of all three, experiencing all spectrums of emotion.

Wherever you may fall in that equation, take a moment to let your defenses down. Stop your game plan, give up control for even just a moment. Stop acting out, reconnect with yourself again, it will only temporarily feel better as you overindulge in every whim. If you checked out, take one small moment to remember who you are and get in touch with the knowledge that you were placed here for a reason and you matter.
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Last year in particular I must have gone through all three of those emotions as if it were a merry go round. Relying on strength to get me though, then moving on to do whatever I wanted with no regard to myself or others, then simply checking out in defeat. This year, I woke up and am letting all of those defense mechanisms go to the wayside. In doing so, I am learning the most valuable lesson and in this lesson I find gratitude.

Wherever you are at, in whatever stage of your life. If you are dissatisfied, stagnant, lonely, uninspired take a moment to let all of your guards down and fight your natural defense instincts to get to the next step and take on the challenge to just be happy with who you are and grateful for where you are at. Even if you are being challenged beyond your imagination or if you are simply at a standstill.  It is much easier sounding than it is. We have so many blocks and drivers within each of us that to just be happy with what you have in the moment, especially when you are in a stagnant point in your journey is not easy. However, it will give you acceptance and clarity.

Once you can truly be grateful for where you are and how you got there and respect the life you have, it is a recreation in itself. Finding satisfaction in yourself in your best and worst will lead to when it is finally time to move forward you will do it with a balanced and realistic mind.

Recreation.

Be Free.

ability to act freely: a state in which somebody is able to act and live as he or she chooses, without being subject to any undue restraints or restrictions

The ability to live as you wish without anything holding you back.  All of us live with restraints. Some of the restraints to a degree whether it be job or society expectations..I mean though we have the choice to do so, there are repercussions to robbing banks, killing hobos and having a slew of prostitutes but overall..we can choose. For me, I am learning that any restrictions I have are usually brought upon by myself. Most of the powerful experiences that we are missing out on in life are missed due to how we are holding ourselves back.

I am a cautious person in regards to wanting everything to be fair, to make sense, to have the best outcome. Rarely do I just act based upon wanting to do something with no restrictions. Most of us do this..most of you reading this have an area or two in your life that is resonating to you as you read this of something that you never allow yourself to be truly free. Is it speaking your mind about something, asking for what you need, doing something no matter what judgements would be brought upon you?

For me, it is not reaching out to my community when I need something. Trying to do everything myself.I hate being vulnerable and taking up someones time with something I need.  To me, the ability to reach out and ask for what I need and not be the strong one in appearance would be freeing and yet no one places those boundaries on me but myself. So that is my challenge this week..using my community. My friends in all of their perspectives and life experiences. Asking for what I need. Learning from them with no fear of vulnerability because to me, to be vulnerable would actually be freeing. Think of all I could learn, all the reward just for simply freeing myself from the boundaries I place.

So freedom means different things to all of us. What would be freeing to you? What are you not getting enough out of life right now because of boundaries? Lift your shackles and live.

Be Free.

Turn.

Which way will you turn?  Each day we walk on a path and come to the point where we get to begin veering left, right or continue going straight. Sometimes we are not logically sure which way we want to go, there isn't a GPS system or app you can download for this kind of journey and really if there were what would be the fun? So we listen to our intuition..sometimes certain things interest us to follow in that direction. The trees look more beautiful if I veer left, the road looks less rocky on the right or what happens most often..I have been going forward this whole time, I am nervous to change what I am comfortable with.

We make these decisions in things that we find to be very small but really change the course of everything we do. Did we smile at that stranger when we could have not taken the time to do so? Did we reach out to that friend when we needed them or did we just try to do it all on our own? Did we see that someone was having a hard day and stop to make it just that much easier. Did we listen? Did we care? Did we take a chance even though it was scary?

We often take the wrong path but end up learning something new about our decision making, listening to our intuition better and seeing a new side of life on this wrong path. I am fascinated by choices and how we choose to do the things we all do.

I remember when I was all of 18 years old and moving to Florida with my best friend to be entertainers at Disney..we drove across country in separate cars. We did not have cell phones, that was still such a new thing at the time. We made a game plan about how we were going to follow one another. We had maps, knew what cities we were going to stop for the night and had a strong game plan. Even with that it was nerve wracking. This was our first time driving so far and our first real time away from home without our parents.

About halfway through the drive in Texas when I was trailing her, I saw her veer right and go the wrong way. I was not able to get over in time and at that moment was the first time I had to follow my intuition. Do I get off the road, turn around and try to find her in this giant city that was so alien to me or do I keep moving forward, all by myself and scared but knowing that she will be able to find her way back to the freeway and that we will be able to find one another in the next city we had preplanned to meet up at.

I decided to do the latter, knowing that trying to find her in Texas would never work and that I would just get more scared and panic. So as I drive on, I centered myself. Us separating had the potential of causing chaos. We had not determined where we were going to live in Florida yet, she had most of our money on her, we were a good team together but separated had nothing.  Tears streamed down my eyes as I drove on now, tears of uncertainty and vulnerability. Seeing how very alone and young I was on this open road. I drove on through the night, my tears drying as my adrenaline to find my way and make it though this kicked in.

Eventually I found a little hole in the wall motel in the middle of the night in a bayou city. I sat in my room, tired but feeling like I was safe now and could do this. I learned so much just from that tiny event that meant everything to 18 year old me at the time. I could have turned right. I wanted to turn around and find her, feeling so lost and alone my mind wanted to feel safe and stay in the city in which we separated but rather I for the first time in my adult life simply listened to my intuition, did not question it and followed it's promptings. I was proud. I learned that I was stronger and more independent than I had ever known.

Eventually we found one another the next day. We went on, found our way together and made our way in Florida. I still carry my first experience of listening to my intuition with me to this day. Whenever I am logically not sure which way to go, I simply remember that story and listen to the promptings.

So when in your life have you honored your intuition and followed it's promptings? When have you ignored it because you thought you were smarter than it? I am certain that we all do the latter often. So today, when you are at a fork in your path..try listening before thinking. See where it takes you.

Turn.

Make Believe.

When you daydream and envision yourself and your life how far off are you from the person you are and the life you are living? Some of you are pretty close. You are the type of person that has a vision and you action it as fast as you can. Nothing stands in the way of realizing your dreams. Some of you are halfway there, you are daydreaming of things and slowly inching your way to that realization. Some of you are farther away..let's be honest, that is most of us. There can only be so many Astronauts, Presidents and A- List Celebrities. So what is separating you from being there from the few that made it?

Make Believe. It is my favorite pass time. When I was younger it was so grandiose. I have an overactive imagination to say the least so my mind had no boundaries and I truly believed in it. As each year of adulthood crept over me the daydream faded a little as did my drive to chase it. Reality set in a little more. I don't feel like there is anything negative about that, that is a rite of passage to growing up. Now though, the things I daydream about are not as grandiose, they are more relative to my life now. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments where I am wearing a tiara and pretending to be a princess in a land far away but usually I am just wearing that as I am doing dishes to make it a little more fun. 

Who were you meant to be? Are you that person, living the life you were intended to live or are you not there? What is standing in your way if you aren't quite there? Is it you, your environment, your knowledge and skills, the relationships you need to develop? Take your dream and work to have the pleasure to live in it someday. It can be all of our realities if we only recognize our dreams, the things we need to do to get there and then make it happen. It is never too late. Make. Then Believe.

Make Believe.

Compromise.

At what point do each of us decide to loosen up our ground, step back and compromise? It is important to ponder because if we want to truly experience life as a community we have to learn the delicate balance between what we want and working in the world around us. Relationships in all angles from relationships we hold at work, in our friendships, our families, our love life. Successful relationships and interactions require compromise.

So, the question is..at what point do we decide to compromise and how? You can overuse compromise..you can give yourself up too easily and the next thing you know somehow you and your place gets lost in the balance of the interaction. You can under use compromise and have a "My way or the highway" point of view. Feeling like if other's don't match your perspective then too bad, it is not worth it for you to be apart of the interaction. Neither way really leads to success. Neither way gains you fulfillment in your relationships.

For some of you, one avenue is more natural than the other. Mastering the art of the compromise with perfect balance is exactly that. An art. I certainly am still trying to understand it and balance it myself. The common goal is that no matter what the differences are in the relationships that we all have, no matter what perspective we all bring..to celebrate that every one of us has different views, talents and wants. To bring my views and wants while intermixing it with the views and wants of those around me. Striving to create fulfilling interactions and relationships.

Compromise.

Cake.

There are so many flavors out there in the world that surround us. Some flavors appeal to us while others appall us. Our first response is to think that because we like the taste of chocolate and dislike the taste of anchovies that everyone else around us does too. That is a natural human response, we are wired to relate to people using our base of personality first. It is too easy to seek connection with others through our own understandings of ourselves.

As we try to grow and move through the world if we really want to relate to people on a more impactful level, in a way that we can really learn and bond together we need to try to get to know the things about other people that are different from us as well as what is similar. It is too easy to only surround yourself with people who share your same tastes, thinking, views, disposition..I mean it is easier to be friends and lovers with a carbon copy of yourself. However, imagine how much of your world you could expand if you set out to really appreciate the diversity that is out there.

I want to seek out people that like the same flavor of cake as I do as well as people that prefer flavors that I can not imagine enjoying. Not for the sake of expanding my palette to like that flavor or become something else but more so to appreciate where their taste is coming from. I want to relate to people that are similar to me and people who could not be more different. I want to appreciate the differences and the many point of views that surround us that I am missing out on because I am not trying to think in a new way. Imagine the possibilities.

Cake.