Have you ever been reading a book, perhaps even late at night and you liked the concept of reading it yet no matter how hard you tried to get into it you would find that you had read the entire page and yet did not pay attention to any of it? It was as if your eyes were on auto pilot. So you try to reread the page yet another time..you realize you get to the bottom and the same thing happened all over. You feel guilty that you can not seem to pay attention to the story..everyone and their brother said you needed to read it..hell, even Oprah devoted an entire show to how this book will change your life and yet you can't seem to pay attention. So, you set it down on your nightstand in hopes that tomorrow you can try again to appreciate it.
This time last year that was how I lived my life every single day. If my life was a page in a book I was on auto pilot, going through the motions, looking like I was reading but really I was just stuck on the same page. I was unable to move forward, to appreciate where I was in the moment and though everything appeared perfectly fine in reality everyday I would go to sleep in hopes that the next day it would all just work.
At the end of last year, I had the realization that I was in the wrong place. I was reading a good book but the wrong book and if I ever had hopes of reading again I would need to retire this book and find the right book that fit me better. So I did, respectfully with a reverence to the life that I had lived until that point. I needed to find my place in this world and I knew it was not where I was, so I held my head up and went searching.
Now, I am beginning this new chapter in a new book and the experiences and emotions that this new chapter in my life are teaching me are game changing. Strength, individuality, loneliness, introspection, fear but my most favorite now..fulfillment and hope. Each day holds a new lesson and a new emotion and I am certain that this will be a lifelong process however I am at a turning point in this chapter in my life.
I have met and connected with people in the community that I live in that have changed my life. They have become apart of my plot as I have become apart of theirs. Rediscovering a sense of community and connecting with these amazing people moves me. It gives me strength and fills my heart with warmth that to my complete surprise gives me inspiration as we share laughter, struggles and daily mundane things to simply turn the page.
Life feels right. To someone who has been stuck on the same page, feeling so wrong for so many years to finally have found my place in the right story is beyond explanation of gratitude and emotion..but in simple terms..it feels beautiful. I am excited for everything that life has in store for me finally..I am waiting with baited breath to experience each lesson and adventure the following pages have in store for me.
Turn The Page.