Sunday, June 12, 2011

Expect The Unexpected.

It is so easy to lose perspective when you are frustrated or disappointed. Whether it be in yourself, the people around you or even a cocktail of the two causing the frustration it is easy to lose yourself in the emotion. If you take a moment to think about why you are disappointed it always filters back to a few things that we can control if we so choose to. Unrealistic expectations on yourself and others will always lead to frustration and disappointment so just with that knowledge, change the way you begin looking and expecting and watch the world around you become more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Reasonable expectations on yourself and others. My favorite phrase from one of my professional mentors was "Under promise and over deliver". Are we doing that? Are we setting attainable goals and expectations with the intent that once we have mastered them we can elevate them? If we do that simple strategy we can not only feel fulfillment in what we achieve but also others can as well. Are we giving the impression that we can do something beyond our capacity in hopes that we can kick it into high gear and still achieve it? Are we reading into other's and expecting they can do more than we know they can? Take your big picture goal and break it down into milestones. Make life achievable and use realistic goals and expectations.

Understanding the reality that others are not us. They are unique individuals with their own points of views, skill sets, needs and ways of doing things. I feel like we expect people to do things exactly as we would do them. We need to recognize that and respect what makes that person different from us and valuable so that we can change our expectations to fit their capacity, not ours. Treat others as they would want done unto them, not as we would want done unto ourselves. How many times have you been disappointed because you think you would have done something better or you could not grasp why they didn't do it as you needed? Stop for a moment and appreciate how they work, how they think and feel. Celebrate how people are different and appreciate how they bring things to the table.

Lastly, acceptance if something does not turn out the way you expected or envisioned whether it be at your own hand or the hands of others. This can be from the mundane things to the bigger picture items. Let go, let forgiving and understand. Most things are not worth getting frustrated over but we are only human. So the next time that your husband doesn't unload the dishwasher when you expected he would or you didn't fit into that dress that you bought a size too small hoping you would fit into it soon or your child got himself in a heap of trouble that you can not imagine how he got himself into it..take a moment. Let your expectations still remain but let the frustration go and then and only then can you together communicate realistic expectations.

Expect the unexpected.

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