Thursday, June 30, 2011

All Of Us.

Stop. Take a moment to think of all of the people that make up the mosaic that is your life. Think of your family, your peers at work, think of the friends that have been in your life for the long haul that know you better than you know yourself. Now, think of the people that are sprinkled in as special acquaintances. There is a lot to be grateful for, isn't there?

I am overwhelmed this month with gratitude for the opportunity to have each and every person in my life. This month in particular I have been blessed with the chance to have all of these new and amazing people added to my mosaic. It started with a simple invitation that I said yes to and now am surrounded by this community of beautiful souls and hilarious people. Each day, I feel more and more blessed as they invite me into their life and I invite them into mine.

This is a new concept to me. I have always had a lot of acquaintances simply because I am loud and unfiltered in social situations so I tend to meet a lot of hilarious and fun  people but I went through a time the last few years where I really kept to myself outside of work. Working..going home to DVR..working..coming home to DVR. Not that my DVR isn't amazing, it truly is but it is not as gratifying or fulfilling as the blessing that is meeting new people. This seclusion really began around the time that my marriage was dissolving. Now that I am in a new and fresh chapter in my life, it was just time to put the energy out there that I was ready to surround myself in a new community.  So I simply said yes and it has brought so much love and happiness into my life.

So, take that moment. Feel the gratitude for those that make up your life. New, old, acquaintance..relationships of all kinds. All of us together is what makes this amazing community of life.

All of us.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

You've Got Sleepless In Seattle.

The charm of any Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movie is too hard for any woman to resist. What is it about them? They all start with a very similar theme. Two worlds apart..somehow cross paths..find interest in one another..insert some kind of looks like they will not get together after all..insert a Frank Sinatra song or two..oh wait..never mind, they end up getting together. They literally even use the same stylists, prop people and I even think that the writers use the script like Mad Libs as a template to change the movie script up from film to film. Yet, we love them..I know that I for one can not get enough of them.

So what is it about them? Is it that we want to believe that love can happen against all odds? Is it that we hope love will always find a way? For me, I think it is a mixture of all of the above and then some. So what is it for you? Do you believe in meant to be's..circumstance..timing..soul mates? I am still trying to figure that one out myself but I know that I like to believe in all of those things and more. This amazing merge of both the beauty of love and romance mixed with the daily mundanes of life. It is beautiful if you ask me..and I can say that many of my estrogen infused ladies could not agree more.

So no matter where you are in life..married, divorced, single..celebrate love and the idea of love. Celebrate not only the love that lives in the movies with the story lines and moments designed to make our hearts pitter patter but celebrate real love and that it does exist. Celebrate it if you have found it. Celebrate it in the mundane tasks you both share together from putting away the groceries to watching your favorite shows together. Celebrate it and believe in it if you are still looking for it because I do believe it exists in every form that you are hoping for. I may still be searching for all of the answers, for what is out there for me but I will never stop celebrating the beauty and art in love.

You've Got Sleepless In Seattle.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Taste Of The Good Life.

The ultimate destination in life is the day where you wake up and take yourself for who you are. All of your strengths, all of your opportunities. The day where you not only accept yourself but you truly love yourself unconditionally. I call it a destination because it is something you earn, something you were born with and yet as we grew into young children social filters began to take over, metrics we had to meet in school, expectations and then we each developed an uncertainty within ourselves that took us through our adulthood.

Many of us will carry that with us through the duration of our lives but imagine, if you comforting it would feel if you accepted yourself. What if you put expectations, metrics, titles aside? What if you fell in love with you..not the you you wish to be or the you that others might wish you to be but the organic and true you that you are in this very moment?

"Falling in love with yourself and being true to your needs is no longer a luxury but a dire necessity." I stumbled across that quote in the beginning of this year and it really has changed my life. I live by it true and true. By nature, I am one that wants others to feel good, supported and heard. So much so that I would not do the same things for myself. Now, I ask myself I kind to myself? Did I take care of spirit, my mind, my body, my heart? I live to support myself now as a whole. It does not change that there are pressures from work, insecurities in life and moments of drought but overall, I have my back. There is something comforting to know that no matter what you always have you. It will change your life, it will change how you care for others better.

So take a moment, court yourself. Close your eyes and celebrate the thing that you are most proud of when you think of who you it a spiritual thing, a physical trait, an accomplishment. Focus on that and smile. Take pride in that very thing and let it carry you. You deserve it.

Now, take a moment and think of the one thing that makes you who you are that you wish was not so. Again, it can be something about your personality or temperament, a physical trait, your circumstance. Focus on that and take a deep breath. Respect that very thing about yourself. Accept it, embrace it. Now..let me say..if that thing that you hate about yourself is that you beat old ladies that are crossing the street with canes perhaps we need to have a different talk but for the most part it is things in regards to finances, you wish you looked a different way, you wish you lived in a different scenario. Things that generally you can elevate but are a struggle to you. We take struggles and somehow internally make them define us. What I am asking you to do today, is to take that struggle and accept it. Accept you.

Arrive at that destination where you love yourself, unconditionally..the good, the bad, the mediocre. Once you have that, you will always have support and love in your life every moment of every day.

Taste of the good life.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Sleep Soundly.

What causes conflict? Is it lack of understanding for where the other person is coming from? Is it not really communicating what you each need and therefore causing a tension to be built because the expectations aren't being given? Is it not seeing eye to eye and not respecting each other's ideas, thoughts and feelings? Conflict is unfortunately a part of life and my nature, is to diffuse it. I truly feel life is too beautiful to spend in conflict. I believe in agreeing to disagree but really respecting the person and their point of views in the process.

So, in conflict..take a moment, a step back and ask yourself a few things. "Where does it seem they are coming from and why?" Then respect it. Not necessarily agree but really respect it in reverence. Celebrate what makes them different from you, the way they tick, what drives them, their strengths and insecurities. Once you have truly gained empathy and respect for them as a person and their views then you really have a foundation for reaching an understanding.

Now, you can ask yourself.."What is it that I need and do they know what I need and why?". Passive aggressive behavior is easy to get swept away by. We all have needs, point of views and preferences. Things that we need in a work environment, things we need from our friends and family to enrich us. Most of the time I believe that people are unaware of what we need but would be happy to meet us halfway or provide those things if we only just asked. It is not fair to hold someone accountable for frustrating you when they have not even been given the communication that they are and what they could do to not frustrate you.

After coming from a place of love and respect, then really uncovering the needs and hidden needs of yourself and the others in your life you can then begin to move forward and reach a level that has open of frustration and conflict.

We all have so much to offer one another. Nothing is by chance, the relationships we build at work, at home, in love and in life. We were all put together to celebrate our differences, come together and enrich one another's experience in life. We can do this and let me tell you, it feels amazing to work together and really grow together as a community.

So, who are you in conflict with? Open that communication, respect them, love them and build that bridge with your differences.

Sleep Soundly.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

What If..?

What if you just said yes? What if you dreamt with no limitations..opening up your imagination to stretch it's legs and hold no bounds? What if you didn't let fear and uncertainty stop you from elevation? I have been asking myself that for the past week. Think of all the things in your lifetime that you have said no to and it was not that you refused it due to moral or ethical reasons..those are always fine..I mean, we can't all be Charlie Sheen and Corey Haim..but think about what things in life you have said no to because you were insecure, feared failure or could not envision how it would turn out.

We all do it. Every day. We do it because safety is comfortable. Sometimes we are willing to risk the chance of feeling stagnant or not taking the chance to elevate our lives simply for safety. During our existence we have had to take leaps of faith to move forward and of course those leaps were uncomfortable and scary in those times as well. Look back on your life thus far and think of the leaps you have taken to be the person you are today. It started even when we were children, the comfort of crawling and having our Mother's take us where we needed was comfortable but even through the feeling of security and comfort we all had an itch to move forward, to elevate. Try as we might to want to stay stagnant and stay comfortable we all took that leap of faith..we began walking. Throughout our development we continued with that same leap of faith over periods of time. So why is it that as adults we can sometimes begin to reason with that fear and make excuses to stay so very comfortable and stop from elevating? Why do we continue crawling when we have an itch to try walking?

What is something that you have recently been prompted or invited to do and you said no due to fear of the unknown? Today, gather your courage and remove the limits you are placing on yourself and simply ask.."What if..?" Then, take that step..that leap and see what could happen. Look elevation in the face, stop crawling and see where your steps take you.

What if..?

Saturday, June 18, 2011


When you listen, half-heartedly to the flight attendant as she gives you the safety instructions before takeoff you will notice that in the case that the cabin loses pressure and the oxygen masks drop, you are instructed to secure your mask first and then if there is anyone needing assistance you can then assist them with their oxygen mask. They do this because for you to truly assist the other person and give them the support they need, you must first ensure that you have what you need in it's entirety first. This came to me this week in my travels and I thought to myself how often this parallel comes into our lives.

Are you getting enough oxygen? Are you getting the things that you need before moving to give it to the other's in your life. This can not only pertain to your relationships but also your activities. Are you, as a spiritual, emotional, mental and physical being filling up first before you expel it out and give pieces of you to the world?

Now think, if you are getting your oxygen supply..are you helping the others around you that appear to need your assistance? Are you sitting there feeling secure and taken care of and yourself, not noticing how others are gasping for air and how they could use your helping hand? Take action.

Take action for yourself, fill yourself, secure your oxygen supply. Make sure that you are getting your needs met, then once you have secured your needs..reach out and hep other's secure their needs. The world needs all of us, people need us. Families, friends, businesses depend on us..make sure you are giving to them but make sure that before you do, you have something to give.


Sunday, June 12, 2011

Expect The Unexpected.

It is so easy to lose perspective when you are frustrated or disappointed. Whether it be in yourself, the people around you or even a cocktail of the two causing the frustration it is easy to lose yourself in the emotion. If you take a moment to think about why you are disappointed it always filters back to a few things that we can control if we so choose to. Unrealistic expectations on yourself and others will always lead to frustration and disappointment so just with that knowledge, change the way you begin looking and expecting and watch the world around you become more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Reasonable expectations on yourself and others. My favorite phrase from one of my professional mentors was "Under promise and over deliver". Are we doing that? Are we setting attainable goals and expectations with the intent that once we have mastered them we can elevate them? If we do that simple strategy we can not only feel fulfillment in what we achieve but also others can as well. Are we giving the impression that we can do something beyond our capacity in hopes that we can kick it into high gear and still achieve it? Are we reading into other's and expecting they can do more than we know they can? Take your big picture goal and break it down into milestones. Make life achievable and use realistic goals and expectations.

Understanding the reality that others are not us. They are unique individuals with their own points of views, skill sets, needs and ways of doing things. I feel like we expect people to do things exactly as we would do them. We need to recognize that and respect what makes that person different from us and valuable so that we can change our expectations to fit their capacity, not ours. Treat others as they would want done unto them, not as we would want done unto ourselves. How many times have you been disappointed because you think you would have done something better or you could not grasp why they didn't do it as you needed? Stop for a moment and appreciate how they work, how they think and feel. Celebrate how people are different and appreciate how they bring things to the table.

Lastly, acceptance if something does not turn out the way you expected or envisioned whether it be at your own hand or the hands of others. This can be from the mundane things to the bigger picture items. Let go, let forgiving and understand. Most things are not worth getting frustrated over but we are only human. So the next time that your husband doesn't unload the dishwasher when you expected he would or you didn't fit into that dress that you bought a size too small hoping you would fit into it soon or your child got himself in a heap of trouble that you can not imagine how he got himself into it..take a moment. Let your expectations still remain but let the frustration go and then and only then can you together communicate realistic expectations.

Expect the unexpected.

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Greatest.

A blank sheet of paper. Sometimes that can be your worst nightmare, not knowing where to begin or not having the inspiration of what to place on it and how. Other times it can be empowering when you have the image in your mind of what you need to place there and the opportunity to bring it to fruition is a dream come true. Then, what happens most of the time is we think we might have an idea of what we want to place on the paper but don't have the full concept or vision however we just begin placing things on the paper anyway in hopes that it will eventually begin coming together and making sense..sometimes it does and others it continues not making sense.

Paper. It is not always paper but that is how we take on days, new experiences and tasks that we need to complete. How we take our knowledge and understanding towards our days and apply them can change the world around us as we know it. I am captivated by the process of how we all go from point A to point B everyday, how we create our world.

Think of all of the amazing thoughts and ideas that today make your life. From the obvious of electricity to transportation, the idea of the Internet and social networking..even the cup, somebody was once like, "This is ridiculous drinking out of my hands..I am so over this!" and poof became the cup.  Now think of the ideas and thoughts that impact us in ways that we can sometimes take for granted. Your family, friends, pets, where you live...they are all ideas that were brought to fruition whether you were the catalyst for those decisions coming to life or someone else. The beauty that the people we gravitate towards as friends and lovers, family and colleagues we trust are all people that we had ideas of getting close to but made the decision to build that thought from a simple idea to a tangible thing in out life. All of these ideas that transitioned into reality.

Not all ideas merit being brought to life but think of all the amazing things that make your life simply by an idea being brought to paper. What this reminded me of was that the ideas that all of us think all day from the "Why has someone never thought of this before? This would make so much sense.." Ah-hah moments that could literally be inventing the wheel for us. The "I should really do this for my life, it would make it better" thoughts that could make all the difference in your personal life. What stops the great ideas from coming to life? We do.

So the next time that you have that idea that could change the world or just an idea that could change your world, don't stop yourself at the idea..bring it to life. Whether you know what to put on the metaphorical paper exactly or not..just begin creating.

The greatest love affair started with a "Hello", the greatest love song started with a note and the Mona Lisa started with a one of those.

The Greatest.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


The most beautiful thing about life is that it moves in stages. Something overcomes all of us at certain points where we feel so strongly that we are not in the place we should be doing the things we should be doing and from there many things stem. When some of you are in that place, you take control..making game plans, charting out your next steps so not to make the same  decisions you might have made in the past with almost an avengance. Some of you act out, rebelling against plans and indulging in anything you want whenever you wish. Some of you check out, feeling defeated where a depression takes you under as you wonder how your life got to this point.  Some of you feel a cocktail of all three, experiencing all spectrums of emotion.

Wherever you may fall in that equation, take a moment to let your defenses down. Stop your game plan, give up control for even just a moment. Stop acting out, reconnect with yourself again, it will only temporarily feel better as you overindulge in every whim. If you checked out, take one small moment to remember who you are and get in touch with the knowledge that you were placed here for a reason and you matter.
Last year in particular I must have gone through all three of those emotions as if it were a merry go round. Relying on strength to get me though, then moving on to do whatever I wanted with no regard to myself or others, then simply checking out in defeat. This year, I woke up and am letting all of those defense mechanisms go to the wayside. In doing so, I am learning the most valuable lesson and in this lesson I find gratitude.

Wherever you are at, in whatever stage of your life. If you are dissatisfied, stagnant, lonely, uninspired take a moment to let all of your guards down and fight your natural defense instincts to get to the next step and take on the challenge to just be happy with who you are and grateful for where you are at. Even if you are being challenged beyond your imagination or if you are simply at a standstill.  It is much easier sounding than it is. We have so many blocks and drivers within each of us that to just be happy with what you have in the moment, especially when you are in a stagnant point in your journey is not easy. However, it will give you acceptance and clarity.

Once you can truly be grateful for where you are and how you got there and respect the life you have, it is a recreation in itself. Finding satisfaction in yourself in your best and worst will lead to when it is finally time to move forward you will do it with a balanced and realistic mind.


Friday, June 3, 2011

Be Free.

ability to act freely: a state in which somebody is able to act and live as he or she chooses, without being subject to any undue restraints or restrictions

The ability to live as you wish without anything holding you back.  All of us live with restraints. Some of the restraints to a degree whether it be job or society expectations..I mean though we have the choice to do so, there are repercussions to robbing banks, killing hobos and having a slew of prostitutes but overall..we can choose. For me, I am learning that any restrictions I have are usually brought upon by myself. Most of the powerful experiences that we are missing out on in life are missed due to how we are holding ourselves back.

I am a cautious person in regards to wanting everything to be fair, to make sense, to have the best outcome. Rarely do I just act based upon wanting to do something with no restrictions. Most of us do this..most of you reading this have an area or two in your life that is resonating to you as you read this of something that you never allow yourself to be truly free. Is it speaking your mind about something, asking for what you need, doing something no matter what judgements would be brought upon you?

For me, it is not reaching out to my community when I need something. Trying to do everything myself.I hate being vulnerable and taking up someones time with something I need.  To me, the ability to reach out and ask for what I need and not be the strong one in appearance would be freeing and yet no one places those boundaries on me but myself. So that is my challenge this week..using my community. My friends in all of their perspectives and life experiences. Asking for what I need. Learning from them with no fear of vulnerability because to me, to be vulnerable would actually be freeing. Think of all I could learn, all the reward just for simply freeing myself from the boundaries I place.

So freedom means different things to all of us. What would be freeing to you? What are you not getting enough out of life right now because of boundaries? Lift your shackles and live.

Be Free.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


Which way will you turn?  Each day we walk on a path and come to the point where we get to begin veering left, right or continue going straight. Sometimes we are not logically sure which way we want to go, there isn't a GPS system or app you can download for this kind of journey and really if there were what would be the fun? So we listen to our intuition..sometimes certain things interest us to follow in that direction. The trees look more beautiful if I veer left, the road looks less rocky on the right or what happens most often..I have been going forward this whole time, I am nervous to change what I am comfortable with.

We make these decisions in things that we find to be very small but really change the course of everything we do. Did we smile at that stranger when we could have not taken the time to do so? Did we reach out to that friend when we needed them or did we just try to do it all on our own? Did we see that someone was having a hard day and stop to make it just that much easier. Did we listen? Did we care? Did we take a chance even though it was scary?

We often take the wrong path but end up learning something new about our decision making, listening to our intuition better and seeing a new side of life on this wrong path. I am fascinated by choices and how we choose to do the things we all do.

I remember when I was all of 18 years old and moving to Florida with my best friend to be entertainers at Disney..we drove across country in separate cars. We did not have cell phones, that was still such a new thing at the time. We made a game plan about how we were going to follow one another. We had maps, knew what cities we were going to stop for the night and had a strong game plan. Even with that it was nerve wracking. This was our first time driving so far and our first real time away from home without our parents.

About halfway through the drive in Texas when I was trailing her, I saw her veer right and go the wrong way. I was not able to get over in time and at that moment was the first time I had to follow my intuition. Do I get off the road, turn around and try to find her in this giant city that was so alien to me or do I keep moving forward, all by myself and scared but knowing that she will be able to find her way back to the freeway and that we will be able to find one another in the next city we had preplanned to meet up at.

I decided to do the latter, knowing that trying to find her in Texas would never work and that I would just get more scared and panic. So as I drive on, I centered myself. Us separating had the potential of causing chaos. We had not determined where we were going to live in Florida yet, she had most of our money on her, we were a good team together but separated had nothing.  Tears streamed down my eyes as I drove on now, tears of uncertainty and vulnerability. Seeing how very alone and young I was on this open road. I drove on through the night, my tears drying as my adrenaline to find my way and make it though this kicked in.

Eventually I found a little hole in the wall motel in the middle of the night in a bayou city. I sat in my room, tired but feeling like I was safe now and could do this. I learned so much just from that tiny event that meant everything to 18 year old me at the time. I could have turned right. I wanted to turn around and find her, feeling so lost and alone my mind wanted to feel safe and stay in the city in which we separated but rather I for the first time in my adult life simply listened to my intuition, did not question it and followed it's promptings. I was proud. I learned that I was stronger and more independent than I had ever known.

Eventually we found one another the next day. We went on, found our way together and made our way in Florida. I still carry my first experience of listening to my intuition with me to this day. Whenever I am logically not sure which way to go, I simply remember that story and listen to the promptings.

So when in your life have you honored your intuition and followed it's promptings? When have you ignored it because you thought you were smarter than it? I am certain that we all do the latter often. So today, when you are at a fork in your path..try listening before thinking. See where it takes you.


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Make Believe.

When you daydream and envision yourself and your life how far off are you from the person you are and the life you are living? Some of you are pretty close. You are the type of person that has a vision and you action it as fast as you can. Nothing stands in the way of realizing your dreams. Some of you are halfway there, you are daydreaming of things and slowly inching your way to that realization. Some of you are farther away..let's be honest, that is most of us. There can only be so many Astronauts, Presidents and A- List Celebrities. So what is separating you from being there from the few that made it?

Make Believe. It is my favorite pass time. When I was younger it was so grandiose. I have an overactive imagination to say the least so my mind had no boundaries and I truly believed in it. As each year of adulthood crept over me the daydream faded a little as did my drive to chase it. Reality set in a little more. I don't feel like there is anything negative about that, that is a rite of passage to growing up. Now though, the things I daydream about are not as grandiose, they are more relative to my life now. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments where I am wearing a tiara and pretending to be a princess in a land far away but usually I am just wearing that as I am doing dishes to make it a little more fun. 

Who were you meant to be? Are you that person, living the life you were intended to live or are you not there? What is standing in your way if you aren't quite there? Is it you, your environment, your knowledge and skills, the relationships you need to develop? Take your dream and work to have the pleasure to live in it someday. It can be all of our realities if we only recognize our dreams, the things we need to do to get there and then make it happen. It is never too late. Make. Then Believe.

Make Believe.