Monday, October 17, 2011

My Hands.

It was less than a full year ago that a small callous caught my attention that rested just below my left hand ring finger from where a wedding ring once sat. I was newly separated and I looked at this callous, rough and seemingly permanent scar that I wanted to fix. I tried everything to quicken it's healing. I used pumice every day, scrubbing until I felt that I had no more skin left but then would look down and see that it was just as prominent as ever.

One day, I just decided that I would let it heal on it's own and in due time when it had had the time to heal, it would simply disappear on it's own. I put the pumice away and forgot about it completely.

Almost a year has gone by and I just happened to look down at my hand and have noticed today that it is completely gone. I could not help but feel a parallel to the skin on my hand and my actual life. In the beginning of my separation and with all of my life changes I was so focused on fixing my life and taking life on with such gusto to the point that it was too much. I mean, I needed to do that just to get the energy to get to the next step but around the time I decided to stop forcing the callous to heal on my timeline, I also decided along the way to let life just happen. And it did.

This past year I have learned more about who I am and how that fits in the world around me than any other time in my life. I have learned more about others and really seeing people for who they are and how they contribute to my life and community. I also learned that you never stop learning more about who you are, who others are, how everything fits together..and that is kinda beautiful.

So here I am, healed and balanced in a way that I don't think could have happened had I forced the process. I remember looking back at that time in my life and being unable to picture what this would feel like to be in the next phase in my new journey..and it has finally arrived. I am healed.

My Hands.

No comments:

Post a Comment