I am officially stepping into the modern world of a single woman with full force. What's different this time around the bend? Well..first of all..the last time I was really truly single, I was 22..therefore..a dumb ass by default. I mean, how seriously could I have taken myself back then?
My girlfriends and I would get tarted up in the most obnoxious shiny club gear..looking like $10 whores..not quite $5 but certainly not $15 either. Meeting the most ridiculous boys that scammed around Orange County..tribal tattoos were the thing back then and though Ed Hardy did not quite exist, the douche bag look was in full force still. It was a different time, I was a different age and none of us really knew who we were yet.
Now, after having dated a little in the past year..I am ready finally to actively seek someone to share my journey with. Earlier this year, I took a backseat to dating..really trying on the "Don't look..let it find you'' mentality but that was not getting me the best results. What was finding me was not necessarily a match.
So, I decided to really be an active participant to my romantic destiny and get myself out there. I joined Match.com this past week and let me tell you..if you have never online dated..it would make your head spin! If you have online dated..you know the drill there and keeping up with your profile is like a full time job!
So they have ways that suitors can express interest in you and you can express interest in them in turn. It is called "winking" but instead of getting to physically wink, you click a button. I just want to let you know that Jane Austin just rolled over in her grave at what I just wrote..but I can assure Jane, romance is not dead..it has just changed. A lot.
In this week..I think I have learned more about myself than my suitors. I have learned that you really do need to be an active participant in your own life. As a single woman, if I feel a compatibility with someone, I need to actively engage with them and not just sit back at home in my PJ's and comfort zone but get out there! Love can't find me if I don't get out there! I also learned that if there is not a compatibility, it is okay to be honest about that because above all else, finding love is not about just love but really finding someone that is your match in every sense of the word.
So, despite this not being my style..preferring the old fashioned ways to meet, be courted and fall in love..I mean, I always have my head in some 1800's romance novel..but I have come to not only terms but have hope and optimism that if you seek it..with an open heart and balanced mind..it will find you.
We make it.