Each step, each glance, each word..there is something deeper than our consciousness that drives who we are naturally. It drives everything we do. There are layers within us..some like a knee-jerk reaction that just comes out as if it is ingrained in every fiber of who we are as people. A lifetime of nature versus nurture coming out as easily as breathing. Another layer that is more taught..a layer that is inspired by the world around us, our conscious self, who we want to be and how we want to contribute in this world.
I am at a place in my life..a turning point really, where I am trying to merge the two layers together. It is so much easier said than done. It seems that this season, I am being handed lessons on a platter..some new, some redundant but all uncomfortable, confusing and at times even deflating. After each scenario however I am given this gift if I so choose to take it and that gift is seeing myself, my subconscious layer in a way that I am not proud of.
It is one thing to write of inspiration, to meditate of ideals and entirely a different thing to action them. As the world puts new distractions, road blocks, new situations..it is easy to stop working at the who you were meant to be, the one you want to be and go to auto pilot, letting your subconscious self take over.
It is these moments when you learn the most not only about yourself, but the people around you and the world around you..and how you fit in to it.
It seems that this month in particular was designed to teach me composure in the face of adversity. From the challenges at work, my romantic relationships, social interactions..it is clear that this is a time designed to learn and grow if I stop and am honest within myself to what I can learn or do differently.
Why do we all do what we do? Why do we look at the world with a certain glance? Why do we say certain things? The things that we do that make us amazing people, the choices we make that impact ourselves and the world around us in a beautiful way..that is something we must celebrate and do more of. The shortcomings that we all have, the things that take away from ourselves and the world around us..we must never stop facing them and working to change, to try a new way. Think of what motivates you positively and negatively. Never give up the growing. Never stop celebrating and working.
When We Do What We Do.