What causes conflict? Is it lack of understanding for where the other person is coming from? Is it not really communicating what you each need and therefore causing a tension to be built because the expectations aren't being given? Is it not seeing eye to eye and not respecting each other's ideas, thoughts and feelings? Conflict is unfortunately a part of life and my nature, is to diffuse it. I truly feel life is too beautiful to spend in conflict. I believe in agreeing to disagree but really respecting the person and their point of views in the process.
So, in conflict..take a moment, a step back and ask yourself a few things. "Where does it seem they are coming from and why?" Then respect it. Not necessarily agree but really respect it in reverence. Celebrate what makes them different from you, the way they tick, what drives them, their strengths and insecurities. Once you have truly gained empathy and respect for them as a person and their views then you really have a foundation for reaching an understanding.
Now, you can ask yourself.."What is it that I need and do they know what I need and why?". Passive aggressive behavior is easy to get swept away by. We all have needs, point of views and preferences. Things that we need in a work environment, things we need from our friends and family to enrich us. Most of the time I believe that people are unaware of what we need but would be happy to meet us halfway or provide those things if we only just asked. It is not fair to hold someone accountable for frustrating you when they have not even been given the communication that they are and what they could do to not frustrate you.
After coming from a place of love and respect, then really uncovering the needs and hidden needs of yourself and the others in your life you can then begin to move forward and reach a level that has open communication..free of frustration and conflict.
We all have so much to offer one another. Nothing is by chance, the relationships we build at work, at home, in love and in life. We were all put together to celebrate our differences, come together and enrich one another's experience in life. We can do this and let me tell you, it feels amazing to work together and really grow together as a community.
So, who are you in conflict with? Open that communication, respect them, love them and build that bridge with your differences.