All Of Us.

Stop. Take a moment to think of all of the people that make up the mosaic that is your life. Think of your family, your peers at work, think of the friends that have been in your life for the long haul that know you better than you know yourself. Now, think of the people that are sprinkled in as special acquaintances. There is a lot to be grateful for, isn't there?

I am overwhelmed this month with gratitude for the opportunity to have each and every person in my life. This month in particular I have been blessed with the chance to have all of these new and amazing people added to my mosaic. It started with a simple invitation that I said yes to and now am surrounded by this community of beautiful souls and hilarious people. Each day, I feel more and more blessed as they invite me into their life and I invite them into mine.

This is a new concept to me. I have always had a lot of acquaintances simply because I am loud and unfiltered in social situations so I tend to meet a lot of hilarious and fun  people but I went through a time the last few years where I really kept to myself outside of work. Working..going home to DVR..working..coming home to DVR. Not that my DVR isn't amazing, it truly is but it is not as gratifying or fulfilling as the blessing that is meeting new people. This seclusion really began around the time that my marriage was dissolving. Now that I am in a new and fresh chapter in my life, it was just time to put the energy out there that I was ready to surround myself in a new community.  So I simply said yes and it has brought so much love and happiness into my life.

So, take that moment. Feel the gratitude for those that make up your life. New, old, acquaintance..relationships of all kinds. All of us together is what makes this amazing community of life.

All of us.

You've Got Sleepless In Seattle.

The charm of any Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movie is too hard for any woman to resist. What is it about them? They all start with a very similar theme. Two worlds apart..somehow cross paths..find interest in one another..insert some kind of conflict..it looks like they will not get together after all..insert a Frank Sinatra song or two..oh wait..never mind, they end up getting together. They literally even use the same stylists, prop people and I even think that the writers use the script like Mad Libs as a template to change the movie script up from film to film. Yet, we love them..I know that I for one can not get enough of them.

So what is it about them? Is it that we want to believe that love can happen against all odds? Is it that we hope love will always find a way? For me, I think it is a mixture of all of the above and then some. So what is it for you? Do you believe in meant to be's..circumstance..timing..soul mates? I am still trying to figure that one out myself but I know that I like to believe in all of those things and more. This amazing merge of both the beauty of love and romance mixed with the daily mundanes of life. It is beautiful if you ask me..and I can say that many of my estrogen infused ladies could not agree more.

So no matter where you are in life..married, divorced, single..celebrate love and the idea of love. Celebrate not only the love that lives in the movies with the story lines and moments designed to make our hearts pitter patter but celebrate real love and that it does exist. Celebrate it if you have found it. Celebrate it in the mundane tasks you both share together from putting away the groceries to watching your favorite shows together. Celebrate it and believe in it if you are still looking for it because I do believe it exists in every form that you are hoping for. I may still be searching for all of the answers, for what is out there for me but I will never stop celebrating the beauty and art in love.

You've Got Sleepless In Seattle.

Taste Of The Good Life.

The ultimate destination in life is the day where you wake up and take yourself for who you are. All of your strengths, all of your opportunities. The day where you not only accept yourself but you truly love yourself unconditionally. I call it a destination because it is something you earn, something you were born with and yet as we grew into young children social filters began to take over, metrics we had to meet in school, expectations and then we each developed an uncertainty within ourselves that took us through our adulthood.

Many of us will carry that with us through the duration of our lives but imagine, if you will..how comforting it would feel if you accepted yourself. What if you put expectations, metrics, titles aside? What if you fell in love with you..not the you you wish to be or the you that others might wish you to be but the organic and true you that you are in this very moment?

"Falling in love with yourself and being true to your needs is no longer a luxury but a dire necessity." I stumbled across that quote in the beginning of this year and it really has changed my life. I live by it true and true. By nature, I am one that wants others to feel good, supported and heard. So much so that I would not do the same things for myself. Now, I ask myself often..am I kind to myself? Did I take care of myself..my spirit, my mind, my body, my heart? I live to support myself now as a whole. It does not change that there are pressures from work, insecurities in life and moments of drought but overall, I have my back. There is something comforting to know that no matter what you always have you. It will change your life, it will change how you care for others better.

So take a moment, court yourself. Close your eyes and celebrate the thing that you are most proud of when you think of who you are..be it a spiritual thing, a physical trait, an accomplishment. Focus on that and smile. Take pride in that very thing and let it carry you. You deserve it.

Now, take a moment and think of the one thing that makes you who you are that you wish was not so. Again, it can be something about your personality or temperament, a physical trait, your circumstance. Focus on that and take a deep breath. Respect that very thing about yourself. Accept it, embrace it. Now..let me say..if that thing that you hate about yourself is that you beat old ladies that are crossing the street with canes perhaps we need to have a different talk but for the most part it is things in regards to finances, you wish you looked a different way, you wish you lived in a different scenario. Things that generally you can elevate but are a struggle to you. We take struggles and somehow internally make them define us. What I am asking you to do today, is to take that struggle and accept it. Accept you.

Arrive at that destination where you love yourself, unconditionally..the good, the bad, the mediocre. Once you have that, you will always have support and love in your life every moment of every day.

Taste of the good life.

Sleep Soundly.

What causes conflict? Is it lack of understanding for where the other person is coming from? Is it not really communicating what you each need and therefore causing a tension to be built because the expectations aren't being given? Is it not seeing eye to eye and not respecting each other's ideas, thoughts and feelings? Conflict is unfortunately a part of life and my nature, is to diffuse it. I truly feel life is too beautiful to spend in conflict. I believe in agreeing to disagree but really respecting the person and their point of views in the process.

So, in conflict..take a moment, a step back and ask yourself a few things. "Where does it seem they are coming from and why?" Then respect it. Not necessarily agree but really respect it in reverence. Celebrate what makes them different from you, the way they tick, what drives them, their strengths and insecurities. Once you have truly gained empathy and respect for them as a person and their views then you really have a foundation for reaching an understanding.

Now, you can ask yourself.."What is it that I need and do they know what I need and why?". Passive aggressive behavior is easy to get swept away by. We all have needs, point of views and preferences. Things that we need in a work environment, things we need from our friends and family to enrich us. Most of the time I believe that people are unaware of what we need but would be happy to meet us halfway or provide those things if we only just asked. It is not fair to hold someone accountable for frustrating you when they have not even been given the communication that they are and what they could do to not frustrate you.

After coming from a place of love and respect, then really uncovering the needs and hidden needs of yourself and the others in your life you can then begin to move forward and reach a level that has open communication..free of frustration and conflict.

We all have so much to offer one another. Nothing is by chance, the relationships we build at work, at home, in love and in life. We were all put together to celebrate our differences, come together and enrich one another's experience in life. We can do this and let me tell you, it feels amazing to work together and really grow together as a community.

So, who are you in conflict with? Open that communication, respect them, love them and build that bridge with your differences.

Sleep Soundly.

What If..?

What if you just said yes? What if you dreamt with no limitations..opening up your imagination to stretch it's legs and hold no bounds? What if you didn't let fear and uncertainty stop you from elevation? I have been asking myself that for the past week. Think of all the things in your lifetime that you have said no to and it was not that you refused it due to moral or ethical reasons..those are always fine..I mean, we can't all be Charlie Sheen and Corey Haim..but think about what things in life you have said no to because you were insecure, feared failure or could not envision how it would turn out.

We all do it. Every day. We do it because safety is comfortable. Sometimes we are willing to risk the chance of feeling stagnant or not taking the chance to elevate our lives simply for safety. During our existence we have had to take leaps of faith to move forward and of course those leaps were uncomfortable and scary in those times as well. Look back on your life thus far and think of the leaps you have taken to be the person you are today. It started even when we were children, the comfort of crawling and having our Mother's take us where we needed was comfortable but even through the feeling of security and comfort we all had an itch to move forward, to elevate. Try as we might to want to stay stagnant and stay comfortable we all took that leap of faith..we began walking. Throughout our development we continued with that same leap of faith over periods of time. So why is it that as adults we can sometimes begin to reason with that fear and make excuses to stay so very comfortable and stop from elevating? Why do we continue crawling when we have an itch to try walking?

What is something that you have recently been prompted or invited to do and you said no due to fear of the unknown? Today, gather your courage and remove the limits you are placing on yourself and simply ask.."What if..?" Then, take that step..that leap and see what could happen. Look elevation in the face, stop crawling and see where your steps take you.

What if..?

Oxygen.

When you listen, half-heartedly to the flight attendant as she gives you the safety instructions before takeoff you will notice that in the case that the cabin loses pressure and the oxygen masks drop, you are instructed to secure your mask first and then if there is anyone needing assistance you can then assist them with their oxygen mask. They do this because for you to truly assist the other person and give them the support they need, you must first ensure that you have what you need in it's entirety first. This came to me this week in my travels and I thought to myself how often this parallel comes into our lives.

Are you getting enough oxygen? Are you getting the things that you need before moving to give it to the other's in your life. This can not only pertain to your relationships but also your activities. Are you, as a spiritual, emotional, mental and physical being filling up first before you expel it out and give pieces of you to the world?

Now think, if you are getting your oxygen supply..are you helping the others around you that appear to need your assistance? Are you sitting there feeling secure and taken care of and yourself, not noticing how others are gasping for air and how they could use your helping hand? Take action.

Take action for yourself, fill yourself, secure your oxygen supply. Make sure that you are getting your needs met, then once you have secured your needs..reach out and hep other's secure their needs. The world needs all of us, people need us. Families, friends, businesses depend on us..make sure you are giving to them but make sure that before you do, you have something to give.

Oxygen.

Expect The Unexpected.

It is so easy to lose perspective when you are frustrated or disappointed. Whether it be in yourself, the people around you or even a cocktail of the two causing the frustration it is easy to lose yourself in the emotion. If you take a moment to think about why you are disappointed it always filters back to a few things that we can control if we so choose to. Unrealistic expectations on yourself and others will always lead to frustration and disappointment so just with that knowledge, change the way you begin looking and expecting and watch the world around you become more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Reasonable expectations on yourself and others. My favorite phrase from one of my professional mentors was "Under promise and over deliver". Are we doing that? Are we setting attainable goals and expectations with the intent that once we have mastered them we can elevate them? If we do that simple strategy we can not only feel fulfillment in what we achieve but also others can as well. Are we giving the impression that we can do something beyond our capacity in hopes that we can kick it into high gear and still achieve it? Are we reading into other's and expecting they can do more than we know they can? Take your big picture goal and break it down into milestones. Make life achievable and use realistic goals and expectations.

Understanding the reality that others are not us. They are unique individuals with their own points of views, skill sets, needs and ways of doing things. I feel like we expect people to do things exactly as we would do them. We need to recognize that and respect what makes that person different from us and valuable so that we can change our expectations to fit their capacity, not ours. Treat others as they would want done unto them, not as we would want done unto ourselves. How many times have you been disappointed because you think you would have done something better or you could not grasp why they didn't do it as you needed? Stop for a moment and appreciate how they work, how they think and feel. Celebrate how people are different and appreciate how they bring things to the table.

Lastly, acceptance if something does not turn out the way you expected or envisioned whether it be at your own hand or the hands of others. This can be from the mundane things to the bigger picture items. Let go, let love..be forgiving and understand. Most things are not worth getting frustrated over but we are only human. So the next time that your husband doesn't unload the dishwasher when you expected he would or you didn't fit into that dress that you bought a size too small hoping you would fit into it soon or your child got himself in a heap of trouble that you can not imagine how he got himself into it..take a moment. Let your expectations still remain but let the frustration go and then and only then can you together communicate realistic expectations.

Expect the unexpected.