Black Diamond.

We all are faced with challenges. Monthly, Weekly, Daily, Hourly..it all matters where we are in our life. We ask ourselves why this is happening to us, when are we going to catch a break but in reality..it is not really about the challenge but more so how do we approach the challenge that makes the difference.

By nature when I see a challenge that is frustrating or uncomfortable I would much rather skate around it and avoid it.It is just my personality. I flee. Others might enjoy the challenge, some might even love challenges so much they create them out of thin air just to feel the anger or adrenaline that comes from them.

All ways can be approached better. Which ever category you fit into, take a step back and really make the decision that you are going to take each challenge and approach it from a more balanced and elevated stance. Using logic, emotion, compassion and strength to move you through and in turn truly giving you a new perspective and life experience.

This year, in fresh beginnings and starts..I am dedicated to approaching challenges and high level frustrations and really meeting them with a new stance. The key is truly meeting them.

Black Diamond.

Step Into This World.

Influencing. It is human nature that we believe in changing the world around us through influencing. I have always believed that we all can change the world around us with one good decision at a time. So, when you look at the world that surrounds you, what would you want to change? Is it a cause, an emotion, a belief that you wish more people supported? Make a difference. Be who you are, be vocal about who you are and share. Respect that not everyone will share your view and commit to understanding their point of view.

My favorite quote to live by is "Be the change you want to see in the world."..it's not just about being the change, it's about being the example. Share your thoughts, your ideas, your successes and even your fails when you could have been a better example. It's possible to change the world with one person but it is easier with more. You are the key.

Step Into This World.

Wrong.

I woke up a few days ago and turned to look at my puppies happily snuggled into me. It was just around 9am and my ex that I have been separated from this past year, in whom I share a home with still though we live in separate quarters was due home that morning after being out of town for the week.

Many of you know our story and if this is new to you, allow me to cliff notes you. My Husband and I separated last year. No one did wrong, no one was hurtful or rude. It was simply me. I needed to be on my own, to grow as an individual and really find myself and have the leg room to do so. Over the past year, I did exactly that and with integrity. We remained friends and planned to finalize our Divorce end of January when the lease on our condo was over so that it would be an easy and clean break.

So as I noticed he was not home for the first time really in over a year I was kinda disappointed. I let that go as I moved forward with my morning like it was any other morning. I had plans, and actually a date to get ready for that evening. Once he arrived home, I was happy to see him. We joked and caught up as we always did. I told him about my date that evening and we just talked like old friends. Then, I brought up that I wanted to file the last of our Divorce paperwork on my next day off in the next few days really thinking of the prospect of my date. I was happy and fine with it all and we both started to move on with our days.

At once, our of nowhere it hit me and literally took my breath away. This loud voice within me saying "You're wrong. You're making the wrong choice and you know it.Fix this."...over and over and over. I could not even comprehend it in the moment. As a few minutes passed, I began to see clearly and process what was happening.

I needed this year. I needed to come into my own. I wouldn't take back this year for anything only because it made me grow up and become a better person. At that moment though, it was the moment that I realized that I had come full circle from where I began and that I had been searching the last few months to date and settle down with someone where I had that right here in him. He was what I wanted, he was my life, my family, this was our family..our home. I needed to fix this and I needed to fix this before it was too late.

I contacted him right then, we spoke about everything openly and with compassion and support for one another like we always have.

So here we are..back together. Working on us..when in reality..it is not much work at all because we love each other.We are Ethan and Christina..Christina and Ethan. I'm home..I guess I just needed to leave home for a bit so I could really understand where home is.

So I thank everyone in my life from my family, coworkers, the friends around me..even the people I dated who all were there for me in this process. You helped me find me, you all helped me find home. You helped me find happiness.

Wrong.

Habitual.

We all have our daily things and routines that make us who we are. They set the stage for us to feel comfortable and prepared for life. So what happens when your routine gets disrupted? How adaptable are you at practicing flexibility? I will tell you..I am about as routine driven as you can get without having MTV follow you around and film a True Life documentary about someone being so OCD they have to count to 347 before eating a sandwich. Okay perhaps that's overdramtic..but I like routine. So this is a lesson I am really trying to master as my routine gets interrupted.

So, we all have this ideal when we wake up in the morning about what our day for better or worse is going to look like. For some, it is filled with visions of singing birds making their bed and cooking them breakfast while others pre-plan the worst case scenario complete with a doomsday soundtrack and permanent chip on their shoulder in order to prepare themselves for anything. Either way, something is going to enter into their lives and their daily routine and introduce new experiences for them despite themselves.

A challenge will be placed in front of the sunny disposition and a ray of positivity is going to be placed before the more negative person. It is the natural order of life to stretch us beyond ourselves. So take it. Take each day and each new energy and opportunity and bring it in with open arms, allowing it in to mold your day and your life into something more..something bigger than you.

Positivity, negativity, ease, challenge, joy and pain..make it a part of your routine as it presents itself.

Habitual.

Getting Angry Doesn't Solve Anything.

Get mad..get so mad that you can barely see straight. It is far too easy and far too natural to feel that anger flair up within you when you have been the victim of injustice. It's human and necessary. To have a martyr moment of "Why me?'s" is an important step in moving forward and growing. We all deserve that..but then, once we get our moment of wallowing in self-pity..it is up to us to take the next step forward.

If I have learned anything over the last few months, it is that people and situations are variables in your life. Sometimes the people around you make choices that will enhance your life..sometimes they make choices that will hurt you. At the end of the day, you are not a variable in your own life. You have the ability, control and power to be solid and constant for yourself.

So yes, am I human..do I feel anger for the people that have graced my life the past few months that indeed proved to be variable and not have my best interests in mind? Of course..but I can't stay in that place for long..it's never been in my nature to. So here I am..a smile on my face despite myself...for myself. Keep ever learning, ever moving, ever loving, ever trusting, ever giving..

Getting Angry Doesn't Solve Anything.

Sing.

Gratitude. Thankfulness..the words and emotions surround us today. It's kind of amazing that you can have one day to connect with your family, community and yourself.

So much has changed in my life since last Thanksgiving. I was not separated yet from my marriage, I was living in a different place and what is so strange to me is that I feel as if that was so many years ago sitting where I am now. A completely different person, living a life now that feels so incredibly right to me.

I am truly filled with so much gratitude for each day that I have experienced this year. From the mundane to the painful, the lonely to the loved, the happiness to the disappointments. I am grateful for it all.

So this Thanksgiving, I celebrate today. I celebrate yesterday and tomorrow as well but for this exact moment in time..I simply celebrate today. This exact place. Because it is beautiful.

Sing.

I'm Not Afraid.

If fear is all that we should fear, then what are we so afraid of? We have all heard multiple adaptations of the old adage that there is nothing to fear but fear itself and yet nonetheless, fear is still very tangible. Very real. I am learning over the past month the true value behind crossing the threshold of fear and into new experiences despite my nervousness or apprehensions.

This past month, I have taken leaps and steps that otherwise earlier I would not have taken. When I seclude the things that have always held me back..it truly comes down to one thing. A fear of the unknown or intangible. When you are uncertain of the outcome or even do not entirely trust it, it is all too easy to say no or avoid the entire situation. So this month, I decided to look fear and uncertainty in the eye and move forward. At times, it did not work in my favor..other times, it taught me life lessons often at my own expense..and then there were moments where it truly enhanced my life.

So what are you afraid of? What holds you back to explore, learn and grow? Pain, hurt, frustration..it all can be healed. There truly is nothing to fear in fear. Look and face your fears, cross that threshold and for better or worse experience what is on the other side.

I'm Not Afraid.