Noise.

Sometimes through the hustle and bustle of a day it is hard to find your center.Sometimes it is too easy to tune out the noise and racket of the day in a quest to find your sanity to get through the day.  Every sound, layering upon the other making a symphony that is just a little off key with the other yet also blending in a way that just works. That is most of my days. I find it beautiful. It fuels me even without me realizing it. Noise is beautiful to me. I love being surrounded by life, words, music, movement. I often say that I like peace and quiet, that is also true. However, amongst thinking about it..I spend 80% of my week in a hustle and bustle so the other 20% I tend to recharge and then I find comfort in the beauty of silence. Both are important but today somehow I have a gratitude for the chance to share my world with others and have them share theirs with mine.

What I guess I have come to discover is that there is so much to be said about the honor of sharing your hours and being apart of other's lives. From complete strangers, to close friends to your family. It truly is amazing that we have the ability to share with one another our simple noises.

So today, when you have the chance stop. Stop and observe the simple noises around you and how each person in your view is contributing in creating your personal soundtrack. It is beautiful.

Noise.

Melting

It has been on my mind for quite some time..how we as human beings compartmentalize every part of ourselves into different categories. Working hard not to intermix them or let them merge. We often say "I work hard and then I play hard" or "I am tired, I need coffee"..the last one is actually one I say daily. Why not play at work? If you are tired why not rest? Our bodies, our minds are not compartmentalized but all one being. To be fulfilled and really enjoy our experience in life we must merge and melt our lifestyles into one.

This has been weighing heavily on my mind this year. As I work hard to nourish my body with correct physical fuel, meditate to nourish my body with good energy and thinking I have felt like I can truly appreciate my days. My quest is to really get the most out of my work. I love my work, it is my calling and passion. I am lucky that I can merge my hobby with my career but even with that I could do so much more to really experience it. Love..oh dear, that is a taller order since I only have partial control over this category since it involves a partner but my body, intellect, spirit and heart are all connected in one package. I want to be experienced as one package as well as experience someone else in that same light.  So, I want nothing less than to have that full experience.

All aspects..every single one I want to develop into one experience. I know with everything I have that once you commit to yourself to live wholly and synergistic with your self..melt your body, mind, heart, spirit to all join in each experience you will be full. This is my quest, this is my commitment to myself. This is my commitment to all of you. All of me.

Melted.

Ride

Mortality. It crosses our mind. In fact, it crossed most of our minds even in jest yesterday however we all can not deny the deep down, if even for one moment there was not a bit of thought as to if we were living and taking advantage of the time we have been given. Many of us felt like we would be comfortable with how we were and our lives were in that moment if it were all to end, many of us felt a sense of urgency to go after the things and dreams that we never truly fought for but just let be a glance in our imagination. Many of us felt that we had not indulged enough in life and wanted to do everything we could to taste and experience everything that we had not experienced enough of before. Which category are you?

For me, I have experienced many things. Excess is my middle name so if I went through a phase I went through it hard. I played hard, I loved hard, I lived hard and I even rested hard. Today, I am a comfortable balance between all of those experiences. I fit somewhere between the urgent to the content. So I asked myself, would you be content if the world ended today..and truthfully I think I would. I have lived, loved, made my mark, my days end with a smile. I am content. So, what else is in my heart today now that we all have not expired? That I am content..and that in itself is a gift but there is still so much to build upon.

Each day that I am given a chance to work in the field surrounded by kindred spirits that have become my extended family, learn new things, experience the amazing friends and family in my life, hear a new song, write a new line, breathe a new breath I will be grateful. The objective is to just be grateful for each day and the opportunity to live. Pain, strife, loneliness, joy, love, hope..it is all there to teach us, to mold us into the person that we are today. Thank each day for what if brings you and then do everything you can to bring all you have to that day.

Ride.

Remix

There will always be a song that you have always loved, always will..in fact it is such a part of you and rings so strong to you that when you hear it you come alive. You will always love that song, you will always find it to be your anthem of sorts. This song was once the hottest song on the radio, when you heard it you felt hip and edgy. Now, it is being played on the easy listening station.

Holy crap..has that much time gone by? When did this edgy artist that bothered my parents begin playing on my station? Wait..take it back..I am the one listening to this station right now..when did this become my station? In that moment you realize that your youth is encapsulated in something that will be used for the next Hyundai commercial, sampled by the Black Eyed Peas and well..you don't mind.

That is life in your 30's. I am really beginning to like it a lot as well. The memory of my youth..when I was fun, careless and edgy but now remixed with a more grounded and introspective person. In your 30's you are like a well digitally remastered now re-released to DVD film. Yes, the VHS version of you was pretty amazing but now you can have the best of both ideas.

So what are you remixing, remastering and restoring? Enjoy the process, enjoy the experience because it is going to be amazing this time around.

Remix.

Let Them Eat Cake

The phrase "You can't have your cake and eat it too" has always confused me. I mean, it is cake..it has really only one purpose in life and that is to be eaten. I am not going to spend money and time on a cake and then not eat it. You can only really  eat the cake as well if you have it. That would be a bastard move to have someone else's cake and eat it too, right?

No one ever says that about other items.."You can't have your car and drive it too"..I am just saying, whoever came up with that should not have gotten the acclaim that they got. Now the guy who came up with "Don't worry, be happy" should be happy and feel satisfaction with his bumper sticker and t-shirt empire but not the cake guy.

So really though, don't you ever feel that way though..that you are not allowed to have something you really want and feel free to enjoy it at the same time? We are almost taught that is pretty much shooting the moon or impossible but I disagree. I believe that you can have the things you want and dream about and that when you do get to actualize them that you should dive in and indulge like there is no tomorrow. So what do you have in your life right now that you don't fully enjoy because you feel as though you should not? Today..enjoy it. Stop and spoil yourself in it.

Live your life to find gratitude in the things you have, use them, enjoy them and don't take them for granted. Live your life to acquire the things you want and dream about. I mean, if you are going to acquire and have cake..you should certainly eat it too.

Let them eat cake.

Win, Lose Or Draw

Being single is hilarious. That is what I am learning at this point in my life. It was interesting in my early 20's and completely fitting because when you are in your early 20's you are open to just about any new idea. You are in the discovery mode and I came from a place that was all about making things happen. If I wanted something I worked hard for it and that completely transposed into how I dated as well.

Now let's zoom to now..a little older, a different perspective and I can't help but take this new chapter in my life with a grain of salt. I think looking back on it that being single has always just been a little bit of a game show, I just did not realize it until now. The difference is that before If I had the opportunity to win a trip to Paris and got a coffee maker I would happily take the coffee maker and google new things and coffee recipes that I could create with it, never thinking of Paris again. Then eventually the coffee maker would break and I would then think "Man, Paris would have been so much better than this POS coffee maker!"

This time I am taking everything in stride. I know who I am. I know what works for me, what doesn't. I know that it is always awesome to win a new coffee maker but then if Paris sounded great then I should save up my own money and plan a trip there myself. That is how I am looking at being single with the options out there. I don't need to be in a relationship, I was in a very nice one that just wasn't right for both of us so I am not going to rush or force the hand of fate to get into the same scenario. I will not be seduced by Paris yet I will not overlook the coffee maker. In fact, I would like both. A total package. Why? Because I am a total package.

So in advance..to the guys that would like to stand me up, think that because I wear a lot of makeup that I am dying to go back to your place without you even knowing my favorite Jonas Brother or my recent favorite scenario..thinking that because I am funny and down to earth that I can be your bro one moment and you can tell me about all the chicks you are playing and think that I could could possibly want to be in your lineup this is my news for all of you gems that are out there lurking in the streets..

Each lip gloss application costs me 12 cents and I apply it for me, I even wear it when I am at home watching Netflix so you can stand me up, underestimate my moral compass, overestimate my humor all you would like but I will remain me. Someday, there will be someone who is down to earth, funny, smart, that matches my chemistry. It will not feel forced or hard but just make sense. Until then, I can only smile at the game show that is being single with Bob Barker as my personal announcer.

Win, Lose Or Draw.

Track

I am learning so much about myself more than ever this year. Each day, well..let's not be pretentious..not every day but honestly it seems at least once a week I have a legitimate Ah-hah moment. This is not just in regards to myself but also to those around me. In my twenties I walked around with a sort of clouded vision. The phrase rose colored glasses does not quite fit because there was not a tint of pink rather just a dark tint that skewed my vision.

I had a lack of perspective, when something good would happen I would get wrapped up in to it so easily. When something disappointing happened I would not learn from it, I would just get stuck in that moment and drag it out. It is easy to get all consumed by the good and even the bad. Now, I seem to take each moment for it is..enjoy it if it is good, take it in stride. When something is disappointing I get disappointed as I should but then I really try to mourn it, learn from it and move forward.

So, with this new outlook that has found me I find that I interact differently with the world around me than I ever have before and I really like it! I am not finished by any means yet, as I go from day to day and learn more about myself and get these Ah-hah moments I need to put them into actions and do what is best for myself and those that it will effect around me. That is a lifelong process and now that my shades have been removed I gather that the rest of my life will continue in growing and seeing things and people for how they really are.

Look at the world through the eyes of reality, look at yourself with those same eyes. Strip away the noise, the expectations, the things in your nature that are holding you back and let it go. Change. Always. Constantly. Elevate. There is a world out there for your to learn and understand even better than you do today.

Track.